


Demon Wingman

by Ckatmyla



Category: Disenchantment (TV 2018)
Genre: Consensual Possession, Cyrano de Bergerac - Freeform, Demonic Possession, F/M, Love Triangles, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love, demon with a soul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-01-29 22:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21417598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ckatmyla/pseuds/Ckatmyla
Summary: Luci is a demon cursed with a soul. Pendergast is a knight who sucks at courting. Both in love with the same princess but neither can win her heart alone. A deal is struck, and a plan is formed. Luci will get Bean to see one of them in a new light, and that someone would be him.Inspired by Cyrano de Bergerac
Relationships: Bean | Tiabeanie/Luci (Disenchantment), Bean | Tiabeanie/Pendergast (Disenchantment)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

Luci had a problem. A couple of them, in fact.  
Lately, he was starting to suspect that he might have a soul. He wasn't one-hundred percent sure, but he could feel something rattling around inside his tiny black body that hadn't been there before. And for a demon, having a soul was kind of unheard of. Oh, and it sucked.

It sucked that he felt sorrow now, and pity, and remorse. What the hell was up with that? Of course, he had felt shades of these things before, but they'd always been fleeting, easily shrugged off after a good laugh. They were never this intense.

Luci couldn't understand it - maybe gaining a soul was what happened when you gave up your immortality to save your friends - but all he knew was that he was feeling more intensely now than any demon had a right to.

And that had started to cause problems.  
______

The castle of Dreamland was abuzz with activity. So many servants preparing for the evening's very important dinner. The term 'very important dinner' was thrown around a lot in Dreamland, but Bean's dad the king said to forget all of those other times because this time he really meant it.

Although to Luci it was just another dumb, boring party. He could not give a rat's ass about whatever they were celebrating or commemorating or whatever. Something about her brother the lizard boy? He hadn't fully been paying attention. To him it was just another thing that Bean had to go to. And being her friends, that meant he and Elfo were dragged along too.

Well, normally it would have been him and Elfo. Tonight he was escorting Bean to this thing solo.

And even if he were coming, Elfo had been banished from Bean's bedroom while Bunty helped her change. A measure put in practice due to the hugely non-secret crush the elf had on her.

Luci was spared this treatment, being allowed to perch on the mantle while Bean sat on her bed pulling on her stockings and fastening them in place. Bunty then helped her slip into her dress, the wine-colored satin sliding effortlessly over her milky white skin.

Not that he was watching... or letting Bean know he was anyway. It was at least one good thing about his situation (and there weren't many). He tried not to be so crass as to openly ogle her, but Luci casually covered his eyes with his tail when he thought she was looking.

"I thought that the stains you'll inevitably spill onto it wouldn't show up as much on this one," Bunty smiled at Bean's reflection in the mirror.

"Thanks, Bunty," Bean sighed, managing a smile for her maid that Luci could see through instantly.

"I'll go tell your father and brother you're nearly ready," Bunty said as she made her exit.

Bean then slowly and - with even less enthusiasm than usual - began to fix her hair. It was another perk of Bean not knowing the truth, watching her brush her silky white hair was almost mesmerizing.

See, he was also in love, and that sucked too. That was his second problem. He didn't know exactly when it had started. Sometime after the whole kingdom-in-stone situation, maybe? All Luci knew was that one day he'd realized that these... feelings for her had snuck up on him, hitting him in the face like some kind of blunt feelings instrument.

It could have been a symptom of this new soul of his, but if so it seemed to be in cahoots with his newly-upgraded heart to ruin his life. Or at least his friendship with his best friend, Bean.

He couldn't exactly tell her any more than he could tell his friends about this new soul and fresh set of bold-flavored feelings he was experiencing. Luci wasn't about that life. He wanted to remain the cool, detached a-hole they knew and admired. He wanted to, but it was getting harder.

“I have no idea how Elfo got out of going to this,” he complained to Bean in his normal, casual way.

“He said something about needing to be with his dad tonight. He probably just wants Elfo around to do things for him. My Beebah was the same way, she played the 'frail old lady' card way too often. But I get it, he hadn't seen his dad for a while and---any excuse to grill him about his mom, right?”

“Lame excuse,” Luci said, going off on a tangent. “And hey, why didn't Elfo just ask about his mom when he was in Heaven? It could've saved him some trouble.”

Bean didn't respond, she had placed the last clip in her hair, the small braids on either side of her head fastened securely in an elegant knot on the back of her head, the rest of her white hair cascaded down just a little past her shoulder blades. Scrutinizing, she gave herself another forlorn look in the mirror.

"Okay, so what's up? You usually don't look this miserable before your dad's parties even start."

“I don't know, it's just--- I wouldn't even want to go to this thing normally. It's just gonna be the same people, the same songs, the same lame small talk. If it weren't that I promised Derek that I would I'd just let you convince me to ditch and go get drunk at your bar.”

She glanced up at Luci, still on the mantle.

“Any chance you wanna convince me to do just that?”

“As tempting as that sounds, you know you're never gonna hear the end of it if you don't at least show up,” Luci said. And it was tempting to him. A night with the two of them – the three of them if Bean insisted on rescuing Elfo from father-son time - hanging out, drinking, making things feel like old times. Before he had a stupid conscience gumming up the works.

“You're right,” Bean answered, finally standing and allowing Luci to hop onto her shoulder before jumping down to the floor.

“And I guess it won't be too bad if you're there to suffer with me.”

“That's the spirit,” he said. “Now let's go help your fourteen-year-old brother find a child bride.”

“Not exactly what we'll be doing, but you're not wrong on the overall theme.”

\------

The dinner portion of the evening was as dull and uneventful as it could have been. Luci didn't even have any of Bean's dad getting caught picking his nose, teeth, or mustache with broken bits of chicken bone. The royal family appeared to be on their best behavior for once. It was shaping up to be about as interesting as Bean feared it would be. That being, not interesting whatsoever.

Then the dinner part ended, and the band started playing, coaxing many of the guests out onto the dance floor. Most were dancing some sort of weird group thing with a dozen or so couples all in a line, but some pairs had struck out on their own. Luci wasn't much for dancing of this kind, or any kind where he might be in danger of being stepped on.

He had hopped onto Bean's shoulder for a short ride to somewhere he could avoid that very fate when Bean turned to head toward her brother who was hanging back, as if unsure about what to do next.

“Hey,” she called to him and Derek perked up a little.

“Oh, hey Bean. Um, thanks for coming tonight,” he said, looking up at his sister for a second and then back to the floor.

“What's the matter?” she asked. “Did Sorcerio turn one of your cats into a living bagpipe again?”

“No, nothing like that,” he answered with a reluctant whine. “It's just... I didn't want to even have this party.”

“That makes three of us,” Luci chimed in, referring to Bean and himself.

Bean ignored him and focused on Derek. “Dad just wants you to be more social.”

“If by social, you mean to find a girl his age to agree to marry him after they hit puberty, then yeah,” Luci said.

Bean shushed him, but Derek pointed to Luci.

“He's right though, that's what this whole thing is really about. I'm still a kid. I don't wanna think about getting married.”

“Ya need some advice about the ladies?” Luci asked. “You're talking to a literal lady killer, my man.”

He thought his offer was him being generous, but to his annoyance and a tad dismay, Bean didn't seem to think so.”

“Luci, come on, that's not what he needs. These aren't ladies, they're girls. They probably aren't even out of their training corsets yet.”

She then turned her attention back to her brother.

“Derek – bro – I convinced Dad to not betroth you to some random girl you don't know for some stupid alliance like he tried to do with me, and what he did with your mom, no offense.”

“None taken,” Derek said. “But did we really have to have a party because of it? I don't like meeting all these strangers.”

“I know, man,” she rested a hand on Derek's shoulder. “But hey, at least this is getting you out more. You may not find a future wife here but you may find a friend.”

She smiled at her brother, she had crouched down to his eye level, and Derek returned the grin

“You think so?” he asked.

“Yeah, just be yourself,” Bean answered. Then corrected herself. “Wait---um--- how about a little less yourself? Maybe they don't need to know about the pigeon skulls you perform puppet shows for Dad and me with right away.”

“Okay, thanks Bean,” Derek said, surprising both Bean and Luci with a hug.

Now, Old Luci would have thought it was a tad sappy, but New Luci was sorta pleased that Bean was trying to be better to her younger brother. It sure did brighten Bean's mood for a moment, anyway. And anything that did that was alright in his book.

Derek wandered off somewhere and was lost in the crowd. The long head table where had once sat the royal family was empty now, and Bean and Luci found a smaller, round table to the side of the dance floor.

Tucked away in a corner, they could see the whole of the festivities, and Luci could feel Bean's mood shift back down towards the melancholy once again.

It dropped with every single person that came up to them – to her – to ask her to dance. Tall, short, thin, fat, male, female, Dreamlander, Decapodian, she didn't appear to discriminate.

“Now don't get me wrong, it's pretty entertaining watching you shoot down all these schmucks,” Luci said with some satisfaction after about the twentieth person had left their general vicinity.

“But considering we're just kind of sitting here doing nothing I figured you might be getting bored, and Bored, Mostly-Sober Bean is not the Bean that needs to come out tonight.”

“Well, what do you expect? It is my dad's party, boredom kinda comes with the territory.”

Luci was about to suggest livening up the party some via a little mischief, but Bean seemed to read his mind.

“And before you say anything about sabotaging it, we can't. I promised Derek and I kinda don't want to ruin his chances of finding a friend.”

"Then why turn down a chance to do the only mildly interesting thing here?” he asked, and for a brief second his heart picked up speed as he had the thought of asking her to dance himself. His traitorous insides tied themselves in a knot at the very idea of it.

Even if he wouldn't immediately be stepped on, what would that even look like? It wouldn't make him look like the smooth operator he claimed to be, that was for sure. He'd make Bean look foolish at best and insane at worst. Or even worse than that, he might look like Elfo.

That thought sobered him up a bit from his romantic flight of fancy.

“I mean--- the chance to get swept off your feet by somebody? Wasn't one of those wishes of yours to find true love or some crap?"

"Yeah," she answered. "But on my terms, with someone I choose. Not one of these losers. I'd kill myself before I fell for anybody that came to one of my dad's parties."

She sighed again, continuing to watch the couples sway about. She hadn't looked down at him the entire time she'd been speaking, probably because she knew that he knew that wasn't the whole truth.

"Every guy I meet is either too scared of my dad or into me for all the wrong reasons."

"Reasons like?" He goaded her, and she glanced his way again.

"Like just for what my position can give them. I may not be the best princess ever, but I still have the title."

"What about Elfo? He doesn't seem to care about your status," Luci commented. It was a veiled question. They both knew how Elfo felt about her, and if he and Luci were going to be in the same boat, Luci wanted it to be Elfo's side that started sinking first.

Bean chuckled softly, a brief smile gracing her face.

"Yeah, good ol' Elfo. I know he thinks he loves me, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only girl around who pays attention to him. He just… likes the idea of me, ya know? Some version of me he's made up in his head that I couldn't live up to. Any more than I can live up to being a 'proper princess'."

She paused for a moment, before tacking on to her statement.

"Honestly, I think you're the only guy around who isn't interested in me, Luci."

She gave another soft laugh, patting his head affectionately, then giving his body one long stroke as if he really were the cat everyone thought he was.

"Heh heh, yeah…" Luci laughed along, trying hard not to let his nerves or disappointment show. At least Elfo got treated like an unwanted suitor. Luci? He got treated like a pet.

He knew Bean meant well about it. It wasn't as if she knew what he was thinking.

"You're always there for me, I know I can count on you."

His new soul reared its ugly head again at that. It pumped him full of guilt over her words.

It made him want to grab the nearest alcoholic beverage and down it in one swig. Which he did. And another. And another.

"Whoa, man. I can't believe I'm saying this, but slow down. Take a breath between each drink at least."

He came up for air after he finished the bottle of wine that was on the table. When he looked back up to her her eyes were knitted in concern.

"Um, are you okay, Luci?"

Luci was saved a response when yet another one of the saps that were sweet on Bean sauntered up to the table.

Outside of his armor, Pendergast cut a less impressive figure, but even Luci had to admit that out of this crowd, he looked like at least an eight out of ten.

"And then there's this guy," Bean grumbled to Luci, her hand covering her mouth so Pendergast couldn't hear.

If he had heard, he didn't acknowledge it.

“Princess, I couldn't help noticing that you're here sitting alone talking to your cat. And if I know anything about women, I know that is a cry for help. Allow me to save you from your lonely wallflower ways and steal you for a dance.”

“If you've been watching me, how did you not see the twenty other people approach me tonight?”

Pendergast seemed to deflate slightly at this, losing some of his unearned confidence.

“I was... biding my time. I hoped that the twenty-first time was the charm.”

“Does she need to spell it out for you, man? She doesn't want to be 'rescued' from anything---” Luci started to give the dope a piece of his mind, but Bean halted him.

“It's okay, Luci, let me handle this,” she said, turning back to the knight.

“Look, Pendergast, I'm only here because my brother wants me to be and I'm trying to be a supportive sister now. I'm flattered by your whole... thing you've been trying to do, but I just don't see it happening.”

That was oddly enough one of the more gentle let-downs she'd doled out tonight. She must at least have some respect for the guy.

Perhaps it was the finality in her tone that caused Pendergast to bow out so quickly, for he left without another word, Luci waved it away and hopped down off the table.

“I'm gonna go get another drink,” he said having already finished the bottle on the table. “You want anything?”

“An actual, suitable guy in this place?”

“In this crowd? I doubt it. But I'll get you a beer.”

The thing was though, he honestly felt compelled to provide that for her. Even before this whole mess – when he was supposed to be influencing her into making bad choices – there had still been a part of him that wanted to see her achieve all the things her heart desired.

And now that his heart had gone and decided to desire her, he wished those bad choices she made could be made with him. All the time.

Of course, if he told her about all of that, he would be just like all the other schmucks that fell for her, the ones she pitied at best and downright despised at worst.

He was lucky that she cared about him so much at all, did he really want to ruin that, to possibly destroy what they did have which arguably was pretty good? Bean said she relied on him, why wasn't that good enough for his dumb feelings?

Because she didn't see him like that. He didn't have a chance because she didn't even have him in her mind as a possibility. He cursed his dumb soul for the thousandth time for making him so stupid with love. He should have wanted her to be happy with any guy she picked, even if it wasn't him. She had been his friend before she was anything else, after all.

He came out of his thoughts as he seemed to have wandered past the drinks table. Being lost in thought was yet another annoyance brought on by his predicament.

He was about to turn around and fix his course when he spotted Pendergast off by himself in a corner of the room.

Luci didn't know what struck him, but that weird pang twinged inside him at the sight of the mopey knight. He could see Pendergast's eye flick repeatedly back over towards where Bean still sat, going between forlornly gazing in her direction and staring at the floor, his mouth moving, clearly berating himself.

Now, old Luci would have enjoyed watching the dope suffer in his self-pity - and that part was still there for the most part – but there was another side to him now, the side that said to Luci that they weren't so different, Pendergast and he. The guy did just want the same thing he did, after all. More time with Bean.

Luci sighed to himself. He was going to have to go over there and try to comfort the son of a bitch, wasn't he?

"Ugh, what's up with you, sourpuss?" he asked. "I thought you'd be used to rejection by now."

Pendergast came out of his moping long enough to acknowledge him, waving a hand away at Luci.

"It's nothing, really. Nothing you'd understand anyway."

"Oh trust me, I think I'd understand better than you think, " he said, his gaze falling back on Bean from Pendergast's blind side.

Pendergast sighed. "I don't know much about you, but you do strike me as the type who is well-traveled in the ways of seduction."

"A pretty fair assumption, We got a lot of pick-up artists in Hell. It's all about finding ways to do the opposite of what they did."

"And I know that you're more than you seem, you're more than a talking cat, I mean."

"Not a cat at all, but go on."

"You're one of the princess's closest friends. Tell me, by what way would be best to win her heart?"

"Are you sure it's her heart you want to get into, and not - say - her pants?" Luci asked.

Pendergast harrumphed. "Don't think me so crass. I know you'd want to look out for her, but do you really think so little of me?"

"Honestly, I barely think of you. Neither does Bean, and I'm guessing that's your biggest problem."

“That, unfortunately, is so,” he agreed. “But there must be a way to change that.”

“Apart from a full personality transplant? I don't think so,” Luci quipped, but his momentary light mocking didn't appear to be helping Pendergast's mood.

“You make it seem like this is a lost cause.”

“Eh, I wouldn't exactly say 'lost' in the sense that there's no chance. More like being lost at sea. Sure, most people might give up on you, but there's always that tiniest bit of possibility of you being found alive, and not have your shark-ravaged remains wash up on some distant shore.”

Pendergast sighed again, seeming to resign himself to his fate.

“I was hoping that you might understand. Haven't you ever wanted so badly to change the way people see you, or at least how one person does?”

Crap, there went his dumb soul again, warming up his conscience for a good guilt trip. He knew exactly what Pendergast meant. Hadn't he just been inwardly soliloquizing that exact thing went he stumbled upon the sad dope?

His ears flattened as he tore his gaze from the floor, glanced back over at Bean again, and felt that familiar pang inside him.

Luci gave a sigh of his own. They were in the same boat, too, he guessed. Both lost on that hypothetical sea he mentioned earlier. Boy, having a soul sure was making his inner monologues more poetic.

“Yeah, I guess I do know how that feels,” he said. “But I don't know any better than you about how to fix that situation.”

“Perhaps you could coach me some, on the types of things the princess likes?”

If Luci had eyebrows, he'd be raising one at Pendergast.

“I told you, man. Even if I did give you pointers, there's still all of...” he gestured to the whole of Pendergast “this... here that you've got working against you. You don't know the first thing about Bean, and a little trivia lesson ain't gonna cut it with your track record with her.”

“But how can I change my whole personality, and more importantly, why should I? Shouldn't the princess want to get to know the real me if she's interested?”

“That's it though, she's not interested,” Luci pointed out. “And you don't even know enough about her to know that she'd much rather be called 'Bean' than 'Princess'.”

He folded his arms as Pendergast turned to him, an annoyingly familiar sad puppy look in his one good eye.

Luci grumbled, the guilt boiling up inside of him, threatening to spill out. He rolled his eyes with exasperation.

“Ugh, fine, I'll consider helping, but only because of how pathetic you look right now,” he said, and he saw Pendergast brighten, which didn't help his mood.

“Oh thank you, you won't regret this,” Pendergast said with a growing smile.

“I already am,” he replied.

Luci returned to his earlier thought, how was he going to get Bean to even give this dope a chance after he had struck out again and again with her?

He had been partly kidding about the personality overhaul, but he was also partly serious. He in all honestly wouldn't give Pendergast a chance if he were Bean, and if he were Pendergast--- wait...

An idea had just struck him, and he was beginning to form a plan, one that his dumb conscience probably wouldn't like in the long run, but in the short term could get Luci exactly what he wanted.

“Hey, here's an idea. I could try to possess you,” he threw it out casually to Pendergast, who looked down at him skeptically.

“You could what?” he asked. Luci's eyes swept the room before he gestured for Pendergast to follow him. Luci led him to an empty corridor and into an equally empty, quiet chamber.

Once Pendergast had closed the door Luci hopped upon to a nearby table to be closer to his eye level and began.

“Okay, so you obviously have no game with the ladies, especially not Bean.”

“Hey!” Pendergast objected, but let Luci continue.

“I – however – have game to spare, and what's more as you expressed, I'm one of Bean's closest friends. I also happen to be a demon, and typically demons have the power to possess people's bodies.”

“Alright, I think I'm following you,” Pendergast said. “But how can a cat possess a person?”

Luci covered his face with his tiny hands. “Stay with me, man. I'm not a cat, I'm a demon.”

“Oh, right,” he nodded. “I think I know what you're getting at now. But how would possessing the princess help me court her?”

Luci was almost ready to give up on him as a lost cause then and there, but the beauty of his plan was too good to pass up. He'd have to just grin and bear it when it came to the knight's ignorance.  
“No... I would be possessing you, Pendergast. So I could pretend to be you on your behalf and get Bean to give you the time of day.”

Pendergast seemed impressed by this idea, and what was more, he appeared to have drawn a similar conclusion as Luci for once.

“Whoa, but can you actually manage that?”

“That's the thing, as a sub-demon, I could do it, easy. But since we left Hell, I've lost most of my powers. It may not work at all, but it's worth a shot.”

“Should--- should we try it now?” Pendergast asked. 

“No time like the present,” Luci said.

After a moment's hesitation, he watched as Pendergast came closer, and Luci gestured for him to crouch down low over the table. Luci pulled together as much of what was left of his demonic strength as he could, and lunged for Pendergast's mouth.

There was much screaming and gagging from Pendergast as Luci tried to find a mental foothold of some kind. When he couldn't find one after a few minutes he was thrown from the knight's mouth like a slightly wet hairball.

“Ew,” Luci grumbled as he shook himself dry of Pendergast's saliva. “Well, I wasn't totally convinced that would work.”  
Pendergast took several deep breaths, gagging a few more times before replying.

“What do you think the problem was? Were we not using the right hole? I have other holes, should we try other holes?”

“Can you please stop talking about your holes?” Luci said. “I'm trying to think, here,”

As a demon - or even a sub-demon – Luci hadn't had trouble latching onto someone's consciousness and taking over their body.

He hadn't felt as if he'd lost the ability completely, though. He had felt like he could have gotten control of Pendergast's mind, but something was stopping him. It just felt... different, as if the rules for grabbing onto a human mind were changed somehow.

“If you want to try again, I think I've recovered enough to give it another go,” he heard Pendergast say, ejecting him from his thoughts.

He was going to shush him so he could try to think some more but as his words sunk into Luci's brain, he suddenly had another idea.

“Okay, yeah, we'll try again. But this time, do I have your permission to possess you?”

“Wha---what do you mean?”

Luci was losing his patience “Ugh, Just say it, say that I do.”

Pendergast jumped, startled by Luci's increasingly frustrated tone.

“Um, yes, I give you my permission.”

At that, Luci jumped for Pendergast again, entering through his mouth, but this time disappearing into his psyche. When Luci opened his eyes again, he noticed they weren't just his eyes anymore. He could only see out of one.

He held Pendergast's hands out in front of him and quickly wobbled on his feet towards a nearby mirror. Pendergast gazed back at him, looking fairly normal, all things considered. The only hint that Luci was at the wheel at all was the slight red shine to the knight's working eye.

Wow. His possession worked by angel rules now. Weird.

Luci smirked inside of Pendergast and wrung his hands with mischievous glee. Now that he and this dope had made a bargain, he'd play along and 'help' as much as he needed to. For as long as he needed to until it came time to get this guy out of his way.

If Bean was going to see one of them differently, it was going to be him.

\-------

Pendergast's body wobbled beneath him as Luci tried to maneuver it out of the darkened room and back out into the hallway. He figured he'd have to take a moment to orientate himself. It had been a while since he had possessed a body, and it wasn't as if the last time he had been up and walking around.

Not having the use of both eyes was only mildly annoying. He typically only could use one of his own eyes at a time anyway, what with them being on either side of his head. He'd honestly like to have a word with whoever had designed him about that. Presumably, that guy was in Hell or on his way there, for sure.

Feeling Pendergast's weight evenly distributed inside his boots, Luci found his balance and his footing.

He made it back into the hall where the party was still going on, only looking slightly drunk with his odd gait.

Bean was still seated at the round table in the corner, now by herself and looking both bored and a little miffed about Luci taking so long.

A momentary panic rose up inside him from inside Pendergast. What if she could see through this whole thing on the spot? She knew Luci pretty well, even more than he would probably admit, Bean just might be able to put it together when Pendergast was not acting particularly Pendergastion.

Still, it was worth a try. He'd come this far.

He came into her line of vision and he saw her frown deepen, and she rolled her eyes as he came closer.

“Pendergast, man, seriously, I tried to be nice about it but I really don't want your company right now.”

Okay, he thought. We already know Bean would rather be alone than anywhere near this guy right now. How would Pendergast handle this situation?

“That's perfectly fine, princess,” he said, his voice coming out a strange fusion of the knight's and his own.

“And perfectly understandable, for I have been a boring, misogynistic, douche of a knight who doesn't deserve to be in your presence.”

Maybe that was a little overboard. Bean seemed to think so. She scrunched her face at his words, finally turning her whole body towards him for the first time that night.

“Now, that's a little harsh. I mean, don't sell yourself short. You're not so bad. It's just... I don't know.” she said.

Hey, putting the dope down sorta worked in his favor? He could work with that. He at least had an in, but he needed to maintain Pendergast's persona. Luci tried to rework his thoughts into how they might sound coming out of his mouth.

“Thank you for the kind words, Bean,” Luci flinched inwardly. Crap, Pendergast didn't call her that. “Um, that is, is it alright that I call you Bean?”

He managed to tease a smile out of her at that. And he smiled in turn.

“Sure, and thanks for asking.”

“I have also noticed that for someone who professes not to want to dance, you certainly are watching the people who are with a fairly wistful demeanor.”

Pendergast seemed like the type to use bigger words and more flowery language to make himself seem smarter. As long as he didn't overdo it, Luci thought he could handle this.

“Oh, so you were watching me?” she asked.

“Just observing,” he corrected, flinching inwardly again. “Listen, I know that I am probably one of the last people you'd accept an offer from, but if you would do me the honor, I'd like to be so bold as to ask again for just one dance?”

He saw Bean roll her eyes again, but this time her smile did not falter.

“You're not gonna give up, are you?”

“I don't give up on important things.”

He figured he could get away with a few cheesy lines when behind the guise of Pendergast. Even if it was cheesy, he felt like it was true, too.

And surprisingly, Bean didn't call him out on it. She merely rolled her eyes a little more dramatically.

“Sure, I guess. Why not?”

He held out Pendergast's hand for her to take, and as he lead her out onto the dance floor Luci had to take a moment to appreciate the feeling of her hand in his – in Pendergast's, rather – he'd never been able to take her hand in such a fashion, especially not with such a large hand that could envelop hers as he could now. It was so normal, and yet it felt so right. He wondered what other presumably normal yet entirely new (to him anyway) sensations awaited him in this borrowed skin suit.

Once they were among the other dancers, Luci put his left arm around her waist and held her other hand his right. As she placed one hand on his shoulder, she blinked and squinted at him, seeming to be looking at something

“Is there something wrong with your eye?” she asked, to which Luci felt like Pendergast might start sweating. He wondered if he could control that type of function, as well.

“Ah...no. I've just been... a little under the weather.”

Thankfully, Bean appeared to accept this.

“Eh, I guess that makes sense. I mean, you kinda sound funny, too.”

“Funny? Funny how?”

“Like, not quite yourself,” she offered.

“Well, we do barely speak at length, perhaps you simply haven't noticed what I sound like.”

“I guess...” she said.

Luci couldn't help himself, he hoped he wasn't making Pendergast look as stupid as he felt. But it just felt so good, so right to be in a body that could hold Bean like this, a body that could match up with her, dance with her without it looking awkward and without anybody staring.

True, he probably shouldn't have cared so much about it in his own body, but back in his own form, Bean would also probably have laughed off his advances or request for a dance. He couldn't be sure if her taking it as a joke or not would be worse.

But here, inside Pendergast – there was no fear of judgment, no fear of ridicule or pity, from Bean or anybody. There was also no fear of ruining his friendship with her because she had no idea it was him. It was also the perfect opportunity to test the waters of his plan and share his heart without risking being found out.

As they swayed and moved to the music, several minutes passed and the silence between them grew slightly awkward, he hoped that she hadn't noticed him staring too long at any one part of her body. But it just fascinated Luci how odd and yet oddly good he felt at each place Bean allowed him to touch her.

In Pendergast's arms, she let him hold her, allowed him to look at her in the way he longed to as himself, allowed him to act as stupid and lovesick as his soul-powered heart wanted to whenever he was with her.

Ugh, he sort of wanted to smack himself, he was enjoying this so much.

“I must say, Bean, you just might be one of the best dancers here,” he said. He was attempting to still stay within Pendergast's realm of speech, but it was difficult to not let some of his thoughts and word choices slip through.

“and you're not so bad yourself, Pendergast, or---” she halted.

“You know, that's so weird, I don't think I know your first name.”

Crap, Luci thought. Neither did he. He wracked his brain, cursing himself for not asking this before agreeing to this whole thing. He was definitely taking much longer to reply than an actual human would take to tell someone their name.

“You can just... call me Pen,” he answered. “And here I thought you didn't even like to dance.”

She appeared to have caught on to his teasing tone, answering with one of her own.

“See, that's where you're wrong. I actually love dancing.”

“So why haven't I seen you dancing tonight if you like it so much?

Bean shrugged at the question. “Guess I hadn't found the right partner,” she answered.

Luci had not been prepared for that answer, and he took it as a good sign that initially she hadn't deemed Pendergast to be worthy of that title. Not until he took the reins, anyway.

“Then I guess I'm honored you decided that partner was me.”

Luci spun her around and then back into himself, feeling the warmth coming off from her in Pendergast's arms. This whole controlling him thing was getting easier the longer he kept at it.

Bean gave a soft laugh, but she didn't pull away and allowed him to continue to lead her around the floor.

“Don't get ahead of yourself, pal. I mean, you're not not a good dancer, but I mostly just picked you to keep my dad from griping at me later. I'd definitely hear about it if he didn't see me dancing with anybody tonight.”

“So, what, I'm just not your type?” he asked. Of course, Luci already knew what Bean's usual type was, but it felt like something Pendergast would ask.

“Not to inflate your ego, but the guys I typically go for don't strike me as as smart as you.”

“Oh, so you think I'm smart?”

“I mean, compared to Turbish and Mertz and those other knights, yeah. And I said not to get a big head about it. You're at least showing yourself to be more capable tonight than I used to think.”

“Oh, I think you might find I'm full of surprises,” he said, leaning Bean down into a shallow dip. “And I just might be more your type than you think.”

“Is that so?” she asked, rising from the dip a smirk. “And what makes you think that?”

“Well, for one, we've been dancing for three songs straight.”

Bean blinked several times.“Wait, we have?” she asked, now turning her gaze outward with embarrassment.

Luci couldn't be sure it was three full songs, he had been sort of occupied. But he knew that the line of dancers had rotated through their couples at least twice. A cursory glance showed that it didn't appear as if anyone were watching, but this news did seem to fluster her as much as it enthused him.

“Huh...guess I was having more of a good time than I thought. I kinda thought I had to be drunk to not notice the time passing.”

“I'm glad to be of service, then,” he said, hoping it sounded smooth. He was losing his cool, detached composure the longer he noticed Bean smile at him like that, eyes half-lidded in a way that made his words catch in his throat.

“I guess I'll maybe take a breather after this song,” she said. “But his has been...kinda fun, I'm not gonna lie.”

He could sense the nervousness in her as Luci felt her warmth increase through Pendergast's hands. She really was flustered, which was sort of a really good sign to him. 

Luci thought though, as he gathered his composure enough to make an exit, that he should leave her wanting more, leave her with a question in her mind that she had to have answered.

“Bean, you know I feel like the types of people we are attracted to say more about ourselves than it does about them.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I mean, I think you also sell yourself short. You're a lot smarter and more capable than you think you are. You deserve someone who can match up to your level.”

The song ended, and Luci bent Pendergast's body down in a bow to her, looking up at her long enough to plant a kiss on her hand before stealing away from her and down a secluded corridor.

\-----

Luci practically somersaulted out of Pendergast's mouth and Pendergast was left gagging and coughing from his exit.

Once Pendergast had taken in a few breaths he found Luci's eyes with his own.

“That was the most violating experience I have ever had!” he said, outrage coloring his tone a lot more than Luci felt it should.

“Hey, quit complaining. You agreed to this and invited me in. Plus, I am one-hundred percent sure that it worked.”

“How am I supposed to know that? I don't remember much about it at all.”

“Well, you just had a demon in your brain, I don't doubt it,” Luci said. “But I'm telling you, it worked.”

“How do you know?” he asked.

“See for yourself,” Luci said, gesturing for Pendergast to look back out at the party.

Now, contrary to what he told Pendergast, Luci wasn't one-hundred percent sure it would work. But he was inwardly pleased to see that his claim could be backed up when they both spotted Bean weaving her way through the throng of dancers, clearly looking for him--- them--- Pendergast. The specific terms were going to become confusing, Luci could already tell.

But the point was, Bean was left impressed and intrigued. Exactly what Luci had hoped to get from this.

“I guess you're right,” Pendergast said. “You are good at this.”

“Exactly,” Luci said. “Now next time maybe you won't doubt me.”

“Next time? You mean you'll keep helping me?”

“As long as it takes,” Luci replied.

As long as it takes to get what we both want.


	2. Chapter 2

Despite what his sister had said, Derek wasn't certain he'd be able to find a friend in this crowd of unfamiliar faces. He knew she meant well, but things seemed to come so much easier for her in that department. True, she really only had two close friends, but that was two more than he had.

He didn't even know if he could find someone to talk to him, let alone be his friend. And forget about finding a future wife like his dad wanted.

Girls were scary. Most of the ones his age were all grouped together in clusters of colorful taffeta. And every time he came close to a group, the girls would all go silent and scowl at him. Or worse, they'd start giggling. Then Derek would have to make a hasty retreat back towards the head table, even though it was empty, save for his dad.

He caught his father's eye, and then made a sharp one-eighty back into the crown. His dad's stern, disapproving expression was even worse than the giggling girls.

His male peers he avoided like the plague. The girls may not give him a chance, but he knew the boys would pound him if given the chance. Even though he wasn't in any way desirable to any gender, the boys still saw him as a threat for the girls' attention, because of the whole 'crowned prince' thing.

All Derek could think of while he milled about the unfriendly and unfamiliar crowd was that fourteen was seriously too young to be thinking about these things. But his dad said that he didn't have that luxury. He wasn't a normal fourteen-year-old and not just because of his innate weirdness.

Derek turned to see a girl who looked close to his age, her curly brown hair up in some sort of decorative fashion statement. She wore a purple gown and stood a good six inches taller than him.

She was accompanied by an older man in a robe similar to Odval's, although without the hat. He bent down close to her ear and whispered, the girl listening intently before speaking.

“Prince Derek,” the girl addressed him in a bored tone, taking a moment to glance back at the man before plastering on a smile.

“I'm Delia Ophelia Cordelene, Countess of Tesmar.”

Then the man bent down to her ear once more and whispered something again. She listened again before looking back to Derek.

“Would you care to dance?”

“What, really, you want to dance with me?”

She blinked, leaned in for another whisper from her adviser, and answered, “Yes, absolutely.”

That made Derek smile for a moment before he thought to ask, “Um, is that guy going to be coming with us?” He pointed to the adviser.

The young Countess Cordelene gave a breathy laugh and waved her hand dismissively.

“Oh no, of course not, don't be silly,” then, seeming to think better of herself, stopped laughing and immediately looked back up to her adviser. “Right?”

The adviser whispered to her one more time.

“Yes, that's right. I was right before, that would be ridiculous.”

Despite her tone and body language practically screaming of apathy, Derek figured he might as well. She was the first girl to approach him, after all. Plus he hadn't had the nerve to look up at the table where his father sat, but Derek knew he must be watching him.

And so apparently were the Countess Cordelene's. She very rarely made eye contact with him, choosing instead to glance slightly over his head as if making sure someone was watching. 

“So, um...” Derek tried to break the silence as they danced with small talk. “Do you like cats? Because I ha---”

The Countess then laughed a loud and hearty laugh that rang very fake to Derek's ears. 

“Um, I don't think I said anything that funny, but I could tell you a joke if you like.”

She seemed to have recovered from her rehearsed fit of laughter to smile again at him, saying louder than was probably necessary; “Oh Prince Derek, you are such a card!”

She glanced about the room once more before lowering her face to his ear and whispering to him.

“Don't talk to me, My parents said that if I didn't dance with you they wouldn't buy me a second island. Just smile and try not to step on my feet.”

He did as she asked, plastering on a fake smile of his own, and feeling stupid the entire time.

When the song ended, he bowed to her and the Countess curtsied, whipping out a fan to cover her mouth as she gave her parting words.

“If your father asks, tell him I was nice to you.”

She then swished away back towards one of the several groups of girls, her adviser following. Leaving Derek feeling more alone than ever.

This happened twice more, girls coming up to him for the sole purpose of being seen talking to him. By the time the third one was done with him Derek was pretty sure he preferred when they avoided him. That, at least, had been honest.

He was headed back to the long table at the front, ready to take whatever talking-to he was going to receive from his dad or Odval about not mingling enough, when one of the round tables off to the side caught his eye.

Derek saw the tablecloth rustle as a small hand came grasping out, blindly searching for something before a tiny, brownish spider scurried away towards him.

He heard a grumble of frustration before a figure then crawled out from under the table chasing the spider.

It was a girl in a now-rumbled dress who crawled after the spider, jabbing at it with a toothpick.

“Move your shoe, don't step on it!” she ordered him, and Derek – bemused – obliged.

She then swiftly stabbed the spider with her toothpick, impaling the arachnid and standing proudly to inspect it further.

The girl had very large, almost owl-like amber eyes that analyzed her catch as she twirled it on the toothpick, her face framed by dark braids. Her smile was soft, calculating and victorious. 

“Thought you could get away, did you? Well, you didn't expect that.” The girl then turned her attention towards Derek.

“Thanks for not stepping on it, if you'd squashed it that would have made it useless.”

“Useless for what?” Derek asked.

The girl's smile then grew a tad more mischievous, a far cry from the face-cramping look about the previous girls' grins.

She looked around for a second, then crouched back down towards her hiding place, gesturing for him to follow.

Derek crouched down as well and followed her under the table, where the tablecloth obscured not only his view of the party-goers but to his relief, their view of him.

In the cream-filtered light of the tablecloth surrounding them, he could see a tiny bottle of glue beside a mound of dead spiders and other various insects, and as the girl settled herself crossed-legged across from him, he saw a structure she must have been constructing out of them, beads of glue still drying on parts.

“What's that?” he asked, pointing towards her craft project. 

The girl smiled broader as she lifted it carefully for him to see.

“It's a crown. I got bored with the party and started looking around under all the tables. There are so many dead bugs under them, it's crazy.”

She handed the crown to him, and Derek could see that she had put a lot of work into it, despite being a project inspired by boredom. The base what made of shiny black beetles to support the more intricate positions she had laid the spiders in on top. 

“Wow,” he said, impressed. “This is really neat.”

He handed it back to her and she bent slightly to bring it to rest on her head. 

“Yeah, I was going to put it on my older sister's head to freak her out, but I actually kinda like how it turned out, so I might keep it.”

Derek tilted his head in surprise. “Why would you wanna do that?”

The girl made a 'pfft' noise. “Because my sister never wants me around, but then for some reason, she drags me here to meet some prince. How is that fair?”

“Oh, I totally get that. My sister agrees with my dad about this party, but she almost never lets me come along with her and her friends.” 

“That stinks,” she said. “I have some spare spiders, wanna go throw them in her hair?”

Derek shook his head. “Nah, she's not afraid of spiders, and she's at least trying to be nicer.” Then he had a thought. “But I have a better idea. Come on.”

“Out there?” she asked, her voice rising in tone with anxiety. 

Derek didn't answer, he only took her hand and gently pulled her out from under the table and back into the light of the party.

As he lead her through the crowd, he explained what had happened with the other girls. All of whom were still in a huddle off to one side of the dance floor.

“Wait,” she said, tugging herself free of his hand. “You're the prince this whole party is for?”

“Yeah,” he answered, looking down at the floor. “Sorry I didn't mention.” 

“That's okay, I just wasn't expecting---” she said, changing the subject mid-sentence “I'm Roxette. Roxette Gylfie.”

“Nice to meet you, so are you still okay with doing this?”

Roxette gave an over-exaggerated curtsey. “My prince, it would give me no greater pleasure.”

They shook hands, and Derek walked to the front of the girls while Roxette snuck up behind them, spider crown still on her head and hands full.  
Soon the vibrant hall was permeated with the squeals of several pre-teen girls all panicking and running through the crowds, their hairdos sprinkled with dead arachnids. 

The pair laughed as they watch the girls all be collected by their respective parents and hurriedly shooed out of the hall. Once they were gone and their humor died down, Derek caught Roxette's eye.

Her enormous eyes were hard not to stare at, Derek was starting to feel a little bit sweaty the longer he locked gazes with her. Maybe he was being rude, he should probably stop.

He didn't know much else about the girl, but he thought he should be the one to ask at least once at this party.

“Um, Roxette, do you wanna dance?”

If possible, her eyes grew wider, and her smile broadened as well.

“Sure, I'd like that.”

They made their way out onto the floor, and not once did Roxette scan the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I was hoping to have two chapters for you all to post at the same time.


	3. Chapter 3

Luci tried not to notice the much-improved mood that Bean was in the rest of the evening. She seemed distracted for the rest of the party after (per Luci's suggestion) Pendergast had disappeared from the hall.

  
  


He also tried not to notice the smile she had on her face as she drifted off to sleep that night. She could be smiling for a number of reasons. The abundance of shrimp at the party maybe, or the distinct lack of Elfo. It didn't have to be because of Pendergast completely.

  
  


He took some comfort in the fact that it really wasn't Pendergast she had danced with, but him. So a good portion of that smile on her face was due to him.

  
  


Was this still a good idea? Luci had never actually second-guessed his actions before. If whatever he wanted to do could benefit him in some way, it was usually a good idea in his eyes. But now there was a nagging voice inside him that kept asking... was this the best way to act on his feelings for Bean?

  
  


As he was lost in his own thoughts, Bean's fingers curled around his tail. Not too tightly, but enough for his heart – or whatever he had – to skip a beat. He saw her neutral, sleeping expression curve up into a smile briefly, and he shoved the worry back down again.

  
  


He wanted this, this closeness with her, while she was awake. And he felt that the only way he could manage to get it was by way of Pendergast. If getting closer to Bean inside the knight helped him get over these feelings, fantastic. They could all go back to the way things were. If not though... then there was always ways to get Pendergast out of the picture. Even some that were non-lethal.

  
  


Curling up near her head, Luci fell asleep soon after to the dulcet tones of Bean's light snoring.

* * *

  
  


The next day Luci slipped away from Bean's chamber to find Pendergast in the early hours of the morning tending to his horse.

“Hey, it's my favorite skin suit!” he called down from the door of the stall as Pendergast was doing something with the horse's hooves.

“Can you possibly not call me that?” he asked.

“What, you don't like that? What about 'meat puppet', or 'flesh vessel'?”

“Hmm, 'flesh vessel' does have a certain ring to it, but still no.”

“Have it your way. So, are you ready for round two? We're calling on Bean again today after she gets up. She'll probably be sleeping until around noon. She wasn't drinking all that much last night but still, it's Bean, so we've got time.”

“I'm grooming up my horse for a ride. I thought that the princess might---”

“Engh, wrong,” Luci interrupted, mimicking the sound of a buzzer. “Bean doesn't want to go for a ride on her first date, not unless it's somebody else's horse.”

“Well, at least I'm trying to come up with ideas. What do you propose?”

“I 'propose' you just leave everything to me. Have I steered you wrong yet?”

“I barely know you, and also last night I had a nightmare that my eyes were bleeding out of my sockets while I heard you cackling in the background.”

“Heh heh, yeah, that sounds like another side effect of demon possession,” Luci chuckled. “Tell me when you have the one where all your teeth hatch like eggs and centipedes crawl out of them. That one's hilarious.”

As much fun as it was causing him low-key anxiety, Luci knew that he and Pendergast needed a game plan. A strategy for how they were going to approach Bean and what they would bring up as potential outings.

Pretty much all of Pendergast's ideas were somewhat boring. Wait, there was no 'somewhat' about it. They were boring. He didn't appear to be thinking about what would appeal most to Bean in any case. Just a random ride around the kingdom was not going to thrill her.

In all honesty, Luci wasn't certain what Bean would come up with in terms of dates, but he figured that she would know better than anyone what she would want to do. Since the bulk of Luci's knowledge of her usual outings occurred at various taverns, bars, and inns, he was at the very least confident that proposing a meeting at Luci's Inferno was a good start.

He didn't have any more of a clue than Pendergast, really. But as long as he spoke with confidence and snarky quips, the knight didn't need to know that.

* * *

Luci was right that it was well into the afternoon before Bean actually woke up, and it took him even more time to rush her through mid-afternoon breakfast and get her down to the entryway of the castle where he would leave her and find Pendergast who was supposed to be waiting.

“Come on, come on, come on, Bean,” Luci called as he scampered along ahead of her on his tiny feet.

“Okay, okay!” she said, shuffling her feet behind him. “But this better be one impressive rat king.”

“Believe me, it's the Zog of rat kings. I think I saw it last right over there,” he said, gesturing at the far corner of the hallway where there was clearly nothing. “If you wait here, it'll definitely come back.”

Once she was far enough down the hallway, Luci slipped away and found Pendergast in the third room he looked.

“Hey genius, I thought I told you the first room on the left!”

“You didn't specify from where I'd be coming, so I had to guess.”

“Hey Luci, how did it even get around? Was it bumping into walls and stuff?” he heard Bean from outside.

“Okay, whatever, just come over here before she sees us!” Luci stage whispered. He then lept into Pendergast's mouth just as he had done the previous night. And none too soon, for just as he was getting a hold on the knight's mind, Bean opened the door.

“Greetings, Bean,” Luci said, trying to mimic Pendergast a little better than he had the previous night.

“Oh, hey, Pendergast, how's it going?” she said as she spotted him. “Have you seen Luci?”

“We can look for your strange cat later,” he answered in what he thought was perfect Pendergast mimicry. “I'm glad I ran into you.”

“Uh, I ran into you. What are you even doing here? It was really weird last night when you disappeared.”

“Yes, I apologize for that. But I was hoping to approach you today to see if you wanted to accompany me to your friend's tavern for the evening.”

It was making his skin crawl inside Pendergast to be speaking like this, but he could drop the act once they were there and she felt more comfortable. And once he was sure Pendergast wouldn't remember anything from that point on.

“You wanna go drinking... with me?” she eyed him skeptically. “I don't know man, I don't think you could handle a night out drinking with me.”

“I think I might surprise you,” he answered.

“Are you sure you don't have some sort of quest or early-morning knight shenanigans to do tomorrow?”

“Nothing that I can't blow off if I need to.”

“That might piss my dad off, though,” she said. To which Luci knew the exact comeback to make.

“Does it look like I care?”

She seemed very surprised by this retort, but pleasantly so. Yup, he nailed it.

“Well, if you really wanna go to the bar with me, let's make this interesting.”

“Interesting how?” he asked. To which Bean's smile grew more sly.

“Drinking contest. If you can drink me under the table, then I'll go on a date with you. A proper date, I guess.”

“And if you're able to out-drink me?”

“Since that's probably the more likely outcome, then...” she paused, contemplating. “You have to start a fight with the biggest, scariest guy there. I'm one for watching a good bar fight.”

“That's a deal,” Luci said, even holding out Pendergast's hand for her to shake, which she did with a confident nod.

* * *

The day was winding down to evening and the sun turned the sky to a deep orange as they found their way to the bar.

This was – of course – Luci's bar, and thankfully he already had put measures in place for running it when he wasn't there. Those measures were employing a couple of barmaids to help keep the drunks pacified and not breaking or messing up the place.

While it did cut into his profits to have to pay them, it did allow Luci to both avoid having to do a lot of the side work at the bar and gave him a lot of spare time to do things like say--- enact a plan involving a certain one-eyed knight.

So as they entered the raucous tavern there was very little chance that anyone would be missing Luci

Or so he thought.

Bean took Pendergast's arm and lead him through the throng, making her way to the bar and flagging down one of the barmaids.

The girl turned and smiled at them, one eye obscured by a frizzy brown mop of hair.

“Mary?” Bean addressed her. “Hey, I didn't know you worked here. How many jobs do you have?”

“You'll never know,” she gave Bean a wink. “I don't even know sometimes. What can I get you two?”

“Is Luci not here?”

Mary shook her head. “He said he had stuff to do. Actually he hasn't been around much lately.”

“That's weird,” Bean said, her brow furrowing. Luci moved Pendergast forward in between them and slammed his hand down on the bar.

“The lady and I have a little wager to settle and we will need you to keep the drinks coming until one of us passes out.”

“Him, it's going to be him,” Bean said with a side glance to Mary. At least now she wasn't thinking about where Luci was or wasn't.

“Can do,” she answered. As she handed them their first drinks.

They both downed their beers as fast as they could, slamming the steins down hard on the bar's surface. Luci knew for a fact that Bean could put away a dozen beers easy, but she had never before attempted to out-drink a demon. He just hoped that Pendergast's mushy human liver was also up to the challenge.

It didn't take long for their contest to catch the attention of some of the other patrons, several of them were taking bets and cheering them both on. It did seem like the smart money was on Bean, as half an hour passed and she seemed to still have no ill effects.

Bean, however, was taking notice of her opponent's ability to keep up.

“Whoa, where'd you learn how to drink so fast?” she asked after Luci downed his seventh drink in a row down Pendergast's gullet.

“Self-taught, just like you,” he answered, taking advantage of her momentary pause to call for another round.

“Yeah, but I've been doing this a long time – plus I have the famous Grunkwitz digestive system – the way you're knocking them down like that is--- well, if I didn't know better I'd say it was inhuman.”

Luci blinked and turned his gaze back to her. Whoops, he needed to find a way to spin this, or he could just change the subject.

“Oh, are you afraid you've got yourself some real competition?” He smirked and her brow furrowed, but it was paired with a cocky smile of her own.

“You'd better go ahead and start picking out an outfit to wear on our first date,” Luci added just to playfully jab her a tad further. “I like it when girls wear red.”

She scoffed, her smile growing. “Oh, you don't know what you just did. It is on!”

She then grabbed one of their audience's drinks and - while splashing a fair amount on herself – finished it before Luci could blink Pendergast's eye.

Mary kept a tally going on the chalkboard on the other side of the bar. She made sure to keep the beer flowing, and Luci was feeling pretty confident inside Pendergast as he kept up with Bean's impressive and vaguely unsettling intake to one drink after another.

Nearly an hour into the contest, they were all tied up with more than two dozen empty steins downed by each of them covering several of the tables.

Luci was starting to feel the effects wear down on Pendergast's body. He was beginning to have trouble controlling his arms and keeping his head upright. Luckily though, it appeared that Bean was having a lot of the same troubles with her own stability.

He thought it was a hallucination brought on by alcohol poisoning when he spotted Elfo coming up beside them.

“Hey, so... what's going on?” Luci heard Elfo's squeaky voice quaver over the din. Maybe it was because Pendergast's head was starting to make the room spin that he found the elf's voice so grating, or maybe he just hadn't seen Elfo in a couple of days.

“Oh, hey Elfo!” Bean shouted far too loud considering how close Elfo was to the two of them. She swayed in her seat and Luci could tell it wouldn't be much longer for her, either.

“Me and ol' Pendergast here were having a friendly drinking contest,” she slung her current half-full stein across the bar and some sloshed onto Elfo, which he wiped off of his face, not taking his eyes off of them.

“Yeah, and I'm about to win,” Luci said, even as he said it though he could hear Pendergast's speech slurring up a storm.

“In your--- hic---in your dreams,” Bean replied, hiccuping through the middle of her sentence.

It was hard to tell what with his inebriated brain being pickled, but it looked like Elfo was giving him an appraising, even judgmental stare.

“So, what is this 'friendly competition' about? Are--- when did you start hanging out with Pendergast? And coming to the bar without us, or without me?”

Bean waved a very uncoordinated hand in Elfo's direction, lightly slapping him in the face to shush him which Luci wasn't sure was her actual intention.

“Shh, Elfo. Don't---don't make this a big thing. I'll be done in a few minutes and then we can hang out, okay?”

She did all of this with unfocused eyes trained not on the elf, but on her opponent.

As it looked like Elfo was about to say something else, Mary came over with the next two drinks. Elfo then gave another glare towards his direction and disappeared in the sea of knees around them.

Luci could feel that this was it, this dump of a human suit could only take so much poisoning in one night, and if he didn't get Bean to admit defeat now it would be over.

It appeared that Bean had a strategy of her own, though. Smiling a very lopsided smile at him, she inched her way closer towards him.

“Look, Pendlergasp-- uh, Pendergast. I have a reputation to uphold around here. I know what you want – what you really want – outta this whole thing. So if you just take a dive I'll give it to you.”

“Take a dive?” he said it as a question, sensing even through the fog of drink her closeness, and the light circles she was making with her finger on his chest.

“Yeah,” she was practically sitting in his lap now, and it was becoming genuinely difficult for Luci to focus even more so than it was already.

He could have gone for it, given in and let Bean have what she wanted. But then again, Luci knew Bean, and he knew she would never respect a man who couldn't hold his drink and especially not one who threw a challenge just because she asked him to.

As she grew close enough for him to feel her breath on his neck, Luci reached Pendergast's hand around her and pulled both his and her drinks closer to him in one fluid motion. He slid up off of his stool and downed the last two with a flourish. Disoriented by the lack of him to balance her, Bean wobbled and fell to the floor, turning to look back up at his sly, triumphant smile.

“Well, you didn't pass out,” Luci said, kneeling down to offer her a hand up. “But I think I proved my worth tonight.”

Bean looked at his hand for a second, and then back up to his face, and a grin grew on her face as well as she took it.

“I guess you did okay,” she said, and Luci wasn't sure the pinkness in her cheeks was due entirely to her drinking. “So you win, we'll go on a real date.” Thinking quickly she added. “But not for a couple of days, I feel like I am going to feel this tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah, me too,” he added. He nodded in agreement, but he couldn't keep the smile off of Pendergast's face. It probably looked unbelievably stupid, but that was okay. If anyone said anything it would be the knight's dumb face they were mocking.

“You did pretty well, Pen. I'm impressed.”

“What, was that supposed to be hard?” he asked in mock surprise.

She attempted to shove him but missed by a few inches.

“Just take the compliment, you doof.”

“I will, as well as my leave,” Luci said, pleased with himself that he was keeping up with the speech pattern even with this inebriated body.

Waving her goodbye, he piloted the drunken meat puppet out of the bar and down into an alley.

The first thing Pendergast did when Luci exited him was vomit all over the cobblestones. It continued for a good, solid minute before he could take a breath and look back to Luci, who waited patiently atop a barrel and out of the splash zone.

“Is there *_ever_ * going to be a time when I don't feel like I'm going to die after you leave my body?”

“Hmmm, not sure,” Luci answered. “But the good news is you won the contest and we've got an official date with Bean.”

“Fantastic,” Pendergast said between another retch. “If things are going to be like this every time though, I'm not sure this is worth it.”

“Hey, don't be a whiner. After this date, we can see what happens, and then you'll be thanking me. Just go back to the castle and get yourself cleaned up.”

Luckily, a cart was going by and about to turn up the hill towards the castle. Luci gave him a shove and the knight practically collapsed onto the back of it, half passed out already.

Luci waved him goodbye and gave him a thumbs up. “Don't you worry, we've got this, it'll all be worth it. Trust me.”

* * *

Not even a minute after parting ways with Pendergast, Luci walked around to enter from the back of the bar only to bump into Elfo. The elf's smile growing to an annoying level at the sight of him.

“Oh Luci, there you are! Where have you been?” he called as if Luci were across the room instead of just a foot away.

It had been hard to gauge his surroundings while he was busy trying to see how much alcohol he could cram into Pendergast's body before it gave out. He probably should have been keeping an eye on Elfo's drink intake as well. The dope could get drunk just from the fumes in here.

He clasped his hand over Elfo's mouth and steered him behind the bar.

“Shh! I don't want anyone to see me.”

“Why not? I mean, it's your bar,” Elfo asked once Luci had removed his hand, the elf swayed on his feet.

“Yeah, well, I just don't,” he answered. “And how much did you have to drink? I don't think I've ever seen you own anything stronger than ginger ale.”

“Oh, I didn't have any alcohol,” Elfo replied, although his slurred speech made Luci think otherwise.

“You must've had something.”

“Well, if you'd have been here you would have seen that Bean was here with Prendergasp... I mean, Benderflask, I mean---”

“Okay, Pendergast. She was here with Pendergast, go on.”

“Well, they were having a drinking contest, ya see. And I thought, 'if that's what Bean wants in a guy, maybe I should give it a try'. Hey, I made a rhyme!”

Luci grabbed Elfo's shoulders to steady him, earning him a boop on the nose from Elfo for his trouble. Geez, drunk Elfo was quickly turning into Luci's least favorite Elfo.

“But when I tried to drink what they were drinking, yeesh, just the smell of it and I had to barf. But that's when I found this in the back room.”

Elfo clumsily grasped at a bottle and handed it to Luci.

“Oh, and someone barfed in your back room, by the way.”

Luci glanced at the label, back to Elfo, and put his head in his other hand.

“Elfo, this is expired apple juice. Only you could get drunk off of something like this.”

“No wonder it tasted like a crisp autumn morning,” he said.

“I don't even think you're drunk, you just think you are. It's all in your head.”

Elfo blinked at him and tilted his head slightly. “So, you don't think I'm really drunk?”

Luci shook his head. “You'll probably be kicking yourself later on tonight for this – I mean if you can through all the diarrhea you'll be having – but no, this is just a placebo effect.”

“Hey, how do you know about Placebo? He was one of Elfwood's greatest medical minds. Before we found out all his pills were made of sugar. In retrospect as candy makers, we really should have realized what sugar tasted like.”

“Well, at least you don't sound drunk anymore. You're back to your old, barely tolerable self.”

“So, what have you been up to, and why don't you want anyone to know you're here?” he asked.

“Um, how about it's none of your damn business?” Luci said. They were both still behind the bar, hidden from view to those stragglers still in the main area.

They heard someone approaching the bar and Luci covered Elfo's mouth again.

Daring to take a peek from underneath their side of the bar, Luci could see the top of a turquoise tunic and a neck curtained by wavy white hair.

He heard someone – maybe Mary – call for her, and heard Bean answer from right above them.

“I thought I heard---” she paused, glancing around before turning back. “Never mind, I guess.”

Once he was sure that Bean had indeed left the bar did he let Elfo loose.

“Why are we hiding from Bean? I mean, I don't want to hide from Bean, so why are you?”

Luci wasn't sure how much to tell him if anything at all. He definitely couldn't tell him about the deal he made with Pendergast, but he also couldn't let Bean know he had been there without her seeing him. If she knew she'd ask questions and the whole plan would be shot. And Elfo would absolutely tell her about what he and Pendergast were up to if he knew. The elf was a tattletale if he ever saw one.

“It's... complicated,” he answered simply. Which did not appear to be simple enough for Elfo.

“What do you mean, complicated?” he asked. “Did you two have a fight or something?”

“No, that's not it.”

“Well then what is it?” he prodded. “You always want to hang out with Bean, to help her make mistakes and stuff. Especially when we're at your bar.”

“Didn't that girl Mary tell you I had important demon business to attend to?”

“What kind of business?”

“I don't know, just business.”

“Well, why can't you tell me?”

“Because I don't have to, and what's more, I don't want to.”

“But what if Bean needed you to help her with--- making bad choices?”

“Pfft, she can do that on her own,” he said. “I'm just an enabler.”

“But we missed you,” he said. “I mean, I did and I'm sure Bean did, too.”

Luci wanted to 'pfft' to that as well. It sure didn't seem like it from what he saw from inside Pendergast tonight. One offhand question about him and she totally forgot he existed.

“I doubt it, from what I saw tonight she was doing just fine without me.”

“Ah-ha!” Elfo shouted, pointing at Luci. “So you were here and just avoiding Bean!”

D'oh, he walked right into that one. Well, at least Elfo was coming to his own conclusion.

“Something like that,” he said, grabbing onto this thread Elfo was following.

“But the question is, why were you avoiding Bean in your own bar?” Elfo paced in front of Luci in a way Luci thought was a tad over-dramatic.

“I mean, I know why I was avoiding Bean tonight because she was out with another guy and I was jealous, but that can't possibly be the reason.” Elfo chuckled at the very idea.

But when he locked eyes with Luci again, Luci's face fell. He sighed, resigning himself to owning up to at least part of the secrets he was keeping from his friends.

“You're not...entirely wrong,” he said to Elfo's feet.

“What---what do you mean?” he asked.

“I mean exactly what I said,” he answered, not wanting to elaborate. Wanting Elfo to put two and two together by himself for once. Silently begging him to, so he wouldn't have to say it out loud.

Then when he found the courage to look back up at the elf's face he was met with a strange kind of confusion, as if Elfo couldn't quite comprehend what he had heard was even the same language.

“Are you saying...what I think you're saying?”

“What do you think I'm saying?”

“I don't wanna say. In case I'm wrong. You might hit me.”

“I'm not gonna hit you, just tell me what you think I mean.”

“Can you just tell me what you think I think you mean?

“What do you think I think you think I mean?”

“I think this is getting confusing, can you just tell me what you mean?”

Luci groaned and shook his fists in Elfo's direction, his entire body shaking with frustration.

After a moment of bottling up his feelings – well, months of bottling them up, really – Luci finally exploded his feelings all over Elfo.

“Ugh, do you want me to say it? You want me to spill my guts? Fine. I like her too, okay? You caught me,” he said. Now that he'd opened the gates, the words came flooding out.

“You want me to say I think she's beautiful and funny and courageous and her hair is soft and that when she smiles it warms some deep, dark part inside me I didn't know existed and that ever since we got back from Hell I just can't get her freckles or those adorable buck teeth out of my head? Because there ya go, here I am admitting it!”

It was several long minutes before Elfo reacted. Maybe he was giving Luci time to calm himself, maybe his two brain cells were working overtime to come to the same conclusion. Either way, Luci took a few deep breaths before Elfo responded.

“Oh... that is not what I thought you were gonna say.”

Luci didn't have the patience left to ask him what he thought Luci was going to say.

“But... that's... great, Luci!” he exclaimed, sounding excited although a little strained. “It's like we're crush brothers!”

Luci shook his head vigorously, waving his hands in front of him.

“No, we're not,” he said, but Elfo clearly was not listening, he grabbed Luci's hands and began jumping up and down, trying to get Luci to join in.

“And now you're jumping.” He watched the elf go up and down only with his eyes. “You mean you're not jealous or pissed off that we like the same person? I mean, now you know I'm competition.”

“Oh Luci, we could never be competition with each other,” Elfo said. “For one thing, that would mean that either of us had a chance with Bean, which we don't.”

“That's what you think,” Luci mumbled low enough that Elfo couldn't hear.

“And for another, I'd never compete with you, even for Bean.”

“Weirdly enough, that's actually nice to hear, Elfo.”

“Plus, you know that Bean and I are end game, for sure. It's written in the stars.”

Of course, Luci thought, rolling his eyes. He still retains his own delusions that he'll be the one to someday win Bean over.

But maybe Luci was just as delusional, too. Thinking that this whole deal with Pendergast could work, even if it was giving him the chance he could never have otherwise.

“Okay, sure,” Luci said to that, Elfo not noticing his touch of sarcasm. “But yeah, now you know. And there's absolutely no way Bean can know.”

“Got it, crush brother,” Elfo said, going so far as to give him a little salute which Luci thought was a bit much.

“Not your crush brother, but if that means you won't tell her, fine.”

“You got it,” Elfo said. “You want me to come up with some excuses for when you don't wanna see her and Pendergast together?”

“That--- actually wouldn't be a bad idea. I mean if you can come up with legitimately good, believable excuses. Let me hear some, just off the top of your head.”

“Uh...” Elfo said, clearly thrown by being put on the spot. “Luci can't be here because... his poison ivy is acting up?”

“Hmm, maybe,” Luci said. “What else you got?”

“He... ate a piece of chalk and now there's blood everywhere? His Hex-Lax finally kicked in, big time?”

“Why do all of your excuses involve bodily fluids?”

“So Bean won't ask any follow-up questions. Ooh, ooh! He accidentally drank some holy water and he was up all night vomiting?”

“Ew, no. Plus Bean's thrown up after an all-night bender loads of times, that won't make her not ask questions. Just stick with what I told her friend the mop girl, I just have some important demon and/or bar owner business to take care of, got it?”

“Got it!” He gave Luci another little salute. As much as it might complicate things to have Elfo know about his feelings for Bean, it was indeed sort of nice that the elf knew something about this, even if he didn't know the whole plan.

“And if I ever need an excuse, I'm sure you'll do the same for me, right?”

Luci nodded. “I'd be happy to tell Bean about all _your _bodily fluids for you, buddy.”

“Thanks, Luci, you're a real friend.”

  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Derek’s father was less than impressed with his son’s choice of a friend when he had approached Derek the night of the ball.

After the festivities had ended and the last of the tipsy great aunts had been escorted from the hall, his father sat Derek down and asked him which of the girls that he had met he liked best.

Odvall was also there, so it was less of a ‘man to man’ chat than a ‘man to man to man’s advisor who secretly made all of the king’s decisions’ talk.

“Well, Dad…” he began, thinking back over the evening and knowing that it hadn’t even come close to who he’d had the most fun with. “I really liked Roxette, at least as a friend.”

“Hey, ‘as a friend’ we can work with. You’d be surprised at how many of our ancestors got some sweet pity courting outta being ‘just a friend’,” his dad said, then turning to his adviser. “Odvall, how much do we know about this Roxette kid?”

Odvall flipped through his stack of parchment, apparently searching for her information. “Not much at all, sire. She wasn’t an official guest at the party. She came as a plus one with her sister Veronelle, the elder and more influential of the two children of the Chaverian court.”

“So she’s not the highest rank, a lady’s a lady.”

“Sire,” Odvall leaned in closer to the king’s ear. “She was the one catching the spiders and bringing attention to our insect problem.”

“The bug girl?” Derek’s dad shouted, not bothering to lower his voice as his adviser had. He turned back to Derek.

“You made friends with the bug girl? Of all the tiny, fancy broads I invited you had to pick the creepy bug girl?”

“Dad, she was the only one who was nice to me,” Derek said. “And if you’re gonna make me do any weird courting stuff, I’d at least like to spend time with somebody who likes me.”

“Look, in my experience, you’re probably better off with a girl who you know doesn’t like you but just pretends to to keep up appearances. Least you know what you’re getting out of it. Which is barely nothing.”

Derek didn’t know a lot about his dad’s love life - he didn’t want to know too much, really - but he did know that he loved Bean’s mom and she turned out to be bad, and he didn’t love his mom, but they at least were civil. Then there was the bear lady, and the less Derek thought about that whole thing the better.

His dad paused a moment, then sighed before continuing.

“But, your sister’s convinced me to give you more of a say in these things. So, if this girl is the one you like, we can give it a shot. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Derek smiled, jumping into his father’s arms for a hug before he or his adviser could protest., “Thanks, dad.”

“Don’t thank me, if it were up to me we’d find you one of those girls they put in a tower. They tend to be shut-ins but their standards are low, and I mean low. They’ll take any schmuck.”

“Odvall,” he addressed his adviser again. “Send a pigeon to Chavera inviting the bug girl and her parents back for a stay in our guest suite.”

Odvall blinked. “Would that be one of the dungeons, your majesty?”

“Yeah, the bigger one next to the furnace. That’s the nicer one. Hope she likes rats as much as she likes bugs.”

* * *

  
  


Luci was beginning to regret telling Elfo anything about how he felt about Bean. Well, ‘beginning to’ would imply that he ever thought it was a good idea in the first place.

Bean had begun preparing for her date with Pendergast (and by extension, her date with him) and once she had stepped out for just a moment, Elfo exploded with all of the pent-up expressions that he had been not-so-subtly hinting at behind Bean’s back to him.

“So Luci, what should we do while they’re on their date, huh? Are we gonna spy on them? Try to sabotage it? Fake an injury and guilt Bean into staying home to take care of us?”

“None of those things,” Luci answered. He still wasn’t letting Elfo in on his entire scheme just because he had relented to tell the elf about his feelings. “Unlike you, my eternally friend-zoned compadre, I have some maturity about the situation.

“Oh yeah, Okay, Luci,” Elfo said with a wink. “Sure you’re not planning on doing anything. Sure.”

“I’m not,” Luci repeated. And he wasn’t, at least not in the way that Elfo thought.

“Oh come one, Luci,” Elfo nearly whined. “I know you. You wouldn’t pass up an opportunity like this to make someone look like an idiot. I mean, you do it all the time with me.”

“True, true,” Luci said. “But it’s not as if Pendergast needs any help in that department.”

“I don’t know, Luci. From what I saw last night Bean was having a pretty good time with him. We might be in for some serious competition.”

Luci was saved from the conversation when Bean returned to her room, waving a red toothbrush triumphantly in her hand.

“Success, I found the family toothbrush! Oddly enough I think the last person to use it was Oona,” she appeared to have noticed their silence and stares. “What’s up with you guys?”

“Uh,” Luci quickly shifted the focus onto Elfo. “Elfo here was wondering about what made you so interested in going out with Pendergast all of a sudden.”

“I was?” Elfo asked, and Luci jabbed him with his tail. “Ow! I mean, Ow--- yeah, I was. I mean, you never seemed that interested in him before, Bean. Is it really because he won that bet?”

To Luci’s surprise, Bean looked away from Elfo with a strangely embarrassed expression. She shrugged but didn’t meet either of their eyes.

“I dunno… I mean, I just felt like giving him a shot, is all.”

Luci and Elfo exchanged a look, Elfo looking nervous, and Luci trying hard not to smile.

  
  


“Something changed, there, did it?” Luci asked, finding it just as difficult to keep a knowing slyness out of his voice as it was to keep from smirking.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” Bean answered, thankfully not picking up on Luci’s tone. “He’s just--- he’s a lot cooler than I used to think. So maybe I wanna spend some time with him.”

Bean had gone to the mirror on her vanity, playing with her hair as her voice grew a tad wistful. Luci could tell that there was a lot inside Bean’s head going unsaid about how she was feeling, but it was all he needed to hear to reaffirm that he was doing exactly what was needed.

  
  


“Welp, you kids have fun,” Luci said, taking one last look as Bean’s face before leaving to find Pendergast. “I’ll be off doing important demon business again.”

“But Luci, weren’t we gonna - you know - hang out?” Elfo said pointedly, being extremely obvious about what his plans were.

“Oh, I’ll be around,” he said with a wink. Elfo winked back, although Luci could tell he didn’t know what they were winking about.

  
  


* * *

Derek had been trying to find ways to avoid Roxette since she arrived with her parents only a few days since the party. Their speediness to return to Dreamland after they heard that their daughter had befriended the crown prince made Derek just about as anxious as seeing her again had.

He had been there to greet them when they returned, but it was sort of hard for him to concentrate on Roxette when her parents, his dad, and Odvall were watching them like a murder of crows, all nine of their eyes observing their every gesture and listening for any hints at their growing friendship.

It just put too much pressure on things that Derek wanted to avoid as much as possible. It was bad enough that he had forgotten how nice Roxette looked, or maybe it was the lack of cobwebs in her hair or that she wasn’t crouched from being under a table for hours. It was one thing talking to her when there was no pressure of anything happening, now...

He wanted to find someone to give him some advice. Derek knew there were a fair lot of older men for him to ask, but he wasn't sure who out of the lot would be best.

In his haste to hide from the Chaveran procession, he passed Prince Merkimer in the hallway, snorting a few times as he waddled by. The pig had been a mildly above-average prince once, maybe he would be a good person to talk to.

  
  


“Hey, uh, Merkimer!” Derek turned suddenly and called to him. Like so many in the castle, Derek hadn't really addressed them face to face, or in Merkimer's case, face to snout, but he hoped using his given name without a title was still okay to do. He figured if people could do it with him it must be fine to do with others.

Plus, they were both princes, so that had to count for something.

The pig prince turned back to face him, looking slightly puzzled.

“Hmm, yes? Oh, it's you, young prince. What is it that I can do for you?”

Derek shifted his weight from foot to foot and looked down at the floor. “Well, I thought maybe you could help me with something. I mean, you’re a prince, and I'm a prince. So do you think we could have a princely chat?”

“Of course, young Derek,” Merkimer said jovially.

“Well,” Derek began, plopping down on the floor of the hallway next to Merkimer. “We had that party last week for me to meet all the girls close to my age and see if I would like any of them. Bean told me I should try to find a friend, and I think I did. But Bean also said to not be completely myself. My new friend is going to be staying in Dreamland for a while, and I don't want to scare her off, what do you think I should do? How do you think I should act?”

“Hmm, I believe that your sister is right, my boy,” Merkimer said.

“But, shouldn't I always be myself no matter what? That's what Mother always said.”

“In your case, young Derek, I think not,” he replied. “You are at an age where 'yourself' is such a varied and fluid concept. You can try out various versions of 'you' and see what works best. And by 'works best’, I do mean what works best for getting what you desire, and for now, that is attracting the ladies.”

From what Derek had heard, Merkimer wasn’t exactly the ladies’ swine around the castle, which the prince seemed to concede without Derek having to ask.

“I will admit I don't so much have as much joie de vivre as I once had when I was human, but I can tell you what I do remember from those days and perhaps that will suffice to help you in your adolescent journeys.”

And with that, Merkimer took Derek under his porcine wing and regaled him with tales of his adolescence and conquests with the maidens of his past. Most of his words were overheated puffery, filled with purple prose and descriptions of things Derek had no idea about, but he was getting advice and from what he could understand he wrote down.

Merkimer seemed to prize acting princely above all else, stating that that was the best way to win a lady's heart and affection. To spoil her with flowery words and make her feel like the 'most exquisite creature in the room. The room one was in and any other room that could be occupied'.

Derek thought it was a tad much, but he didn't have any other ideas, so he thought he might as well try Merkimer's method.

He wrote a letter using Merkimer's flowery talk and purple prose to Roxette and had a servant deliver it to where she and her family were staying. It started fairly short, using only one sentence about asking her to visit the seaside together. But using Merkimer's words it had turned into a full page in a matter of minutes.

“Okay, so far we have, ‘My glorious angel of the cliffside kingdom of Chavera, whose beautiful amber orbs have gazed longingly at the ocean for far too long. The loveliness of grace and beauty that the angels named Roxette.’” Derek paused from his read-through of their work.

“Merkimer, are you sure about this? It doesn’t sound anything like me.”

“Have you not been listening?” Merkimer replied. “That is the entire point. Trust me, lad. Have I ever steered you wrong before?”

“Well, this is the longest we’ve ever spoken--- but I guess not.”

“Good lad. We’ll have a servant deliver this to her at once. I tell you, young Derek, you shall be fending off your lady’s advances with a stick.”

Derek wasn’t sure about Roxette poking him with a stick, but Merkimer seemed excited about it, so he assumed he should be as well.

* * *

  
  


“Oh, Derek, you’re here!” Roxette exclaimed as she peeked through the door, then swung it open with excitement.

“Are you ready to go, did you get my letter?”

Roxette rolled her eyes at the mention of the letter.

“It was nice of you to write it, but for one thing, I can’t read your language, and for another, I think my parents were having a laugh at me. When they read it it didn’t sound anything like you!”

Derek chuckled along nervously with her titters, and he helped her gather her things for their evening.

“So… maybe I dodged an arrow?” he mumbled to himself.’’

  
  


“Oh, you want me to bring my father’s dueling crossbows so we can play Dodge the Arrow?”

  
  


“Well, not this time, I think. But I like your enthusiasm.”

  
  


With that, the two young teens made their way down the hall.

* * *

  
  


Stepping off of the walk and onto the sand warmed from a full day, Luci and Bean made their way carefully down the slope towards the beach. Through Pendergast’s eye, he could see two smaller figures further down the shoreline, the sun setting in front of them which made it harder to identify them.

“Oh, how cute, my brother brought his little girlfriend,” Bean said, as they both witnessed a huge rock sail past one of the two silhouettes’ heads. Then they heard a shrill shriek and laughter.

“And they’re having a rock fight, is--- is that also cute?” Luci asked, to which Bean shrugged.

“Hey, it could be worse,” she said. She watched them for a minute longer, and Luci watched her watching them. She had a kind of peacefulness to her face in the glow of the setting sun. It mesmerized him, and he wondered what she could be thinking about.

“It’s kinda nice, you know? Seeing somebody you care about be happy.”

Luci nodded, and when he didn’t reply, she continued.

“I haven’t always been the best sister, but since his mom’s not around anymore I figure I should look out for the little guy more.”

Luci wanted to say how he sort of knew what Bean was feeling, but - his trance broken - he snapped back to the reality of where and who he was.

“Do you have any siblings?” she asked, and he jolted a bit at the question.

“Uh, nope, an only child. And an orphan. Orphaned only child.” Luci said. He'd worked it out with Pendergast that if he didn't know something about Pendergast that he should give her an easy lie to avoid follow-up questions. No family was just the easiest way to go.

“Wow, that's really sad. I'm sorry, Pen.”

“It's fine, it happened a long time ago.”

“How about friends? I mean, there's Turvish and Mertz, right?”

“Eh, I consider them more coworkers than anything. Nope, don't have friends, either,” Luci said. Then when he looked back from the view and saw her face, he paused.

“So you don't have anyone you're close to? Wow--- I mean, I remember what that was like, it was really lonely.”

She was clearly feeling sorry for him, but the question now was, should he play it cool or lean into it?

“It's no big deal, really,” he assured her. But she was still frowning at him with those downturned brows. He battled within himself to find a way to ease her assumptions of his loneliness.

“Really, I'm used to it. Friends weren't a big thing for me growing up, even at demo--- I mean, knight school when I was a lowly--- sub-knight.”

“You mean a squire?”

“Yeah, that. Nobody had friends in squire school. It was all about being the best and stepping on the ones who got in your way.”

She blinked at him, sympathy turned now to surprise.”Sheesh, I didn't know squires had it so tough. I'll have to talk to my dad about that.”

“Hehe, yeah…” he mumbled.

In his ramblings, he had let slip something of his own background, but Luci figured that it must have been better to make the lie more believable. A bit of truth, and perhaps a bit more.

“But you know, seeing you with your friends, I'll bet they care about you. I'll bet they never thought they could care for anyone ever, I'll bet they thought friendship was for suckers. But you've proven them wrong - probably - and maybe they've found that they don't think they could possibly care about anyone more than they care for you.”

Luci could tell that he might have gone too far, for Bean blinked again.

“You uh, sure do make some pretty descriptive assumptions about people.”

“It's yet another gift of mine, I suppose,” Luci tried to laugh it off, but wondered if it was possible to sweat while inside another person.

They walked alongside the water as the last bits of sun faded into the darkness, stars already beginning to emerge in the sky above them.

“You know this is kinda nice too,” Bean said. “Hanging out with you, I mean. I don't know much else about you apart from what you've let slip all those times you've hit on me. What sort of stuff do you like to do?”

“Oh you know... knight... stuff,” Luci answered with a wave of Pendergast’s hand. “Riding horses, sharpening my sword, which is absolutely not a euphemism for anything, some light taxidermy... it's boring, actually.”

“Well, you know most of the stuff I like to do. Go drinking with my friends, riding – well, Grand Theft Equine, anyway. That makes my dad really mad doing things that will make my dad mad are pretty fun for the most part, and sometimes I--- but no, never mind.”

She paused their stroll, looking down into a tide pool.

“What?” Luci tilted Pendergast's head into Bean's eye line.

“No, it's stupid.”

“That could be true, you do a lot of stupid things,” he joked, and she ribbed him with her elbow.

“Hey, it's the truth, isn't it?”

This got a small smile out of her. “Yeah, but I meant stupid like... it's private. Like I feel like my friends might make fun of me.”

“Isn't that what you all do to each other anyway?”

Bean tilted her head in a hesitant nod.

“Yeah, you're right. We do like to take jabs at each other. But this is different. I mean the last time I did something like this they weren't totally helpful at the start.”

Luci wracked his brain, sorting through all the times he was being unhelpful to Bean. That took him a little while for it was a bit of a long list.

Then he remembered. The play, being her writer's demon.

“When you were writing about your family?” he asked.

“Yeah, actually,” she said, giving him a quizzical look.”How'd you guess?”

“I'm--- just good at guessing.”

“Okay… well it started just as a way for me to get my feelings out about my mom and her being evil and everything. But then after that, I still had a lot of thoughts and feelings I wanted to work out. So I started writing in a diary. Mostly ramblings and junk, but some poetry too. I keep it in a place not even Elfo or Luci know about.”

“And where might that be?” he asked, although knowing it was a long shot.

She scoffed and gave him a light shove. “If I won't tell my best friends, I'm definitely not telling you.”

So she was joking with him and giving him playful beatings, that was a very good sign.

“Any chance I could maybe read some of it someday?”

“Hmm, maybe someday. Or---” Bean trailed off, and Luci could see her getting an idea. “Maybe I can read some again. Bunty and her husband are always up for entertainment, and especially if I tell them it’s mandatory.”

“You’d trust me to hear some of it?” he asked, knowing that Bean was still fairly precious with what she wrote.

She appeared to mull it over, grinning at him when he leaned in closer, brow arched.

“If you’d asked me a week ago, I’d have said no way, now though…” she trailed off for a moment as if trying to string together the right words. “yeah, I feel like you’re cool enough to hear it.”

Luci could already hear Pendergast’s protests at getting him roped into hearing Bean’s recitations, but the doofus would just have to suck it up. Plus Bean was no slouch at writing, so long as it wasn’t prose. True, he hadn’t heard her poetry, but it couldn’t be any worse than the third-grade Vogon stuff they read aloud in Hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a huge fan of this chapter. The net one will be more fun. :P


	5. Chapter 5

Just as Luci had thought, Pendergast was none too thrilled about their next activity with Bean.

“I don’t know, Luci. poetry tends to be all flowery words, I’m surprised that it’s even something Bean is genuinely interested in.”

“Hey, those ‘flowery words’ are your ticket to becoming official with Bean. Bean may not be the typical girl, but she still is one, and any girl would like to hear herself compared to a summer’s day, or whatever.”

Honestly, what did he think Luci had been doing while he was walking around inside of the knight? It may not have been poetry he was spouting to Bean, but it was the words that she longed to hear, the things that would help them (him) break down her defenses and let them (him) into her heart.

“Hmm, if what you say is true, then perhaps this would make a good opportunity for me to try spending time with her as myself,” Pendergast mused. It sounded as if this was something he had been thinking on for a while now, and only just now bringing it up.

Luci laughed, even though he could tell Pendergast was serious. “Uh, nuh-uh, man. You’re not ready, especially not for something like this. It’s a pretty personal thing for Bean to let you in on, don’t you get that?”

“Of course I do,” he answered. “All the more reason for me to do this one without your help.”

“Oh, so now you’ve got a couple dates in the bag, you suddenly think you’re a stud? Believe me, dude, you still really need my help.”

Pendergast scoffed, puffing up like a posturing rooster. “Maybe it was a mistake to accept your help in the first place, *cat*,” he emphasized the last word just to see Luci cringe. “I’ll bet you that I can take it from here by myself, and then where will you be? I don’t even know for sure why you’ve been helping me in the first place.”

Luci had his arms crossed, rolling his eyes in plain sight of the idiotic knight. Of course, he knew why he’d been helping Pendergast, Luci had just been taking it for granted that the dope wasn’t asking questions. But if it took something like this for him to see he needed Luci - and since this put in danger Luci’s plan - he thought he’d throw Pendergast a bone.

“Alright, fine. I’ll sit this one out and you do what you think you should be doing.”

“Thank you,” he replied, tone dripping with condescension.

“And I’ll be right here to welcome you back when you crash and burn.”

* * *

Unlike the first time Bean shared her writing exploits – which had only attracted a handful of her closer friends and servants – the audience had doubled. News from the late night coffee tavern must have spread, because a few of the patrons were there, but when Luci noticed that more than half of them were elves or servants, he grew slightly suspicious.

Bean was nowhere to be found, but Luci found Elfo standing in front of a small closet off to the side of the chamber where the audience waited.

“Luci, there you are!” Elfo cheered a little too loudly, and then he watched Elfo turn and direct his volume towards the closet door.

“Luci's here, Bean, do you want me to tell him you're in there?”

From inside the closet, he could hear Bean slightly muffled. “Elfo, the yelling kinda defeats the purpose of the hiding.”

He then saw Bean emerge from the closet just enough to gesture the two of them inside.

Luci slipped in behind Elfo and the three of them were soon standing in complete darkness. Well, Bean was crouching, but close enough.

“Luci, I'm so glad you're here,” Bean said. “I need you to cause some sort of mayhem or catastrophe that will get all of those people to leave.”

“Hey, do I look like a free mischief service?” he asked.

“That is exactly what you look like,” she answered.

“But Bean, we wanna hear your poems,” Elfo said from somewhere near Luci's right.

“And I'd totally let you guys hear them, but when my dad heard that I was doing this he ordered half the castle staff to come and listen,” she rolled her eyes with a groan. “He's trying to be supportive and all that, but I think this counts as overboard.”

Even though it was too dark for any of them to see (and since the ability to see in the dark had been taken from Luci much to his annoyance) Luci could tell when Bean turned her ire towards Elfo.

“And 'someone' had the great idea to tell Dad that he could get half of his elf neighbors to come too.”

“How was I supposed to know that the elves had nothing else to do?”

“They haven't made candy in months, Elfo. They have nothing else!”

“Well, as much as I love to hear you berate Elfo, and as much as I love creating catastrophes--- I'm sorry, Bean, but I can't do it for you this time.”

“What, why?” came her expected question. “You've been disappearing on me for days and now when I need you to do something for me you can't?”

Of course Luci couldn't actually tell her the truth, but he did have to admit that from her perspective, it probably looked like Luci had been avoiding her. On the other hand, that douche Pendergast was bound to do something stupid here today without him, and it gave Luci great satisfaction at the idea of having as many people around to witness it as possible.

He answered as truthfully as he could, which was only about seventy percent.

“I just really want to hear your stuff, Bean. And I think everyone should be here today for what's about to go down.”

“Yeah, and that's really sweet and all, but I have never read any of my stuff for a crowd that size, at least not one that size that was all paying attention to me!”

“What, they performed the play you wrote for a crowd even bigger than this,” Eflo said.

“But I wasn't there, was I?” Bean replied, Luci could hear the anxiety rising in her voice, and it caused something inside him to start to hurt. That feeling had a name, Guilt? Yet another sensation that he was experiencing at full force nowadays. But there was no way to help Bean out without having to postpone Pendergast's impending screw-up, was there? Was there?

Oh, wait, there actually was.

“On second thought, I think I can do something for you,” Luci replied, and then he heard Bean's gasp of surprise as he felt her grab him for a crushing hug.

“Really? Oh, thanks Luci! You're the best!”

He sighed quietly enough that the others wouldn't hear. His satisfaction at Pendergast's fail would not be as sweet, but Luci supposed that as long as the ones that really mattered were present – namely Bean – then it didn't matter how big the crowd was. If it gave Bean a little more peace of mind and helped her confidence.

“Leave it to me,” he said, slipping out of the closet.

He thought he heard Elfo through the door mumble something about 'seven minutes in heaven' before the door flew open and Bean stumbled out in a hurry to right her most-likely dead asleep legs. Luci noticed immediately that Bean had abandoned her regular blue tunic for a cream colored undershirt and a deep crimson vest. It was a highly desirable color on her, but he tried not to give himself away as she wobbled past him. He needed to focus, after all. He had a job to do.

It took him a moment to find the elf with the biggest blabbermouth in the group. Elfo had avoided Gossipo as much as he avoided Weirdo. They appeared to be together a lot, those two.

He slinked up beside the elf and whispered. “Hey, Gossipo, wanna hear something juicy?”

“The elf – a makeup clad and very sparkly dressed fellow – practically jumped with glee at the words.

“Ooh, I'm always up for something juicy, spill!”

“”I hear that Princess Bean's poems are going to be full of swears, drug references, and irreverent humor throughout,” he said. This made the sparkly elf's eyes grow wide.

“You don't say! Oh, the other elves won't want to hear that.”

“Exactly, I didn't think so.”

“How bad are we talking on the swears?”

“Oh, very,”

“The C-word? The S-word? The SU-words?”

“What the crap are the SU-words?”

Gossipo looked around and leaned in to whisper. “'Shut up'.”

“You've got to be kidding me,” Luci grumbled. But then he whispered back. “Oh, definitely the SU-words.”

“Oh my, Preachy won't like that at all,” Gossipo's eyes flicked for a moment to a prim female elf a few seats over, chatting with the elf king.

“And Preachy is...?” Luci left his question open.

“The biggest prude in the elf kingdom, natch! We elves are always striving to uphold the Jolly Code, but Preachy takes it to a whole 'nother level. She hears even the hint of a swear, or the top of a butt crack, and she'll berate the king with complaints until he forces us all to leave.”

“Well, you better not tell her then, because you wouldn't want to miss this,” Luci said. “It's gonna be butt-crack city, I hear.”

Leaving the elf scandalized, he slipped away to watch as Gossipo proceeded to spread Luci's information around to the entire group of elves until it finally appeared to reach Preachy.

All he heard was a high pitched shriek of 'butt-crack city' before the she-elf, the king, and then all of the rest of the elves stormed out, most of which giving Preachy (and a few to Gossipo) the stink eye.

So, that at least got rid of the elves, the crowd was now considerably smaller, but Luci felt he could do better. Shifting focus onto the human members of the group, he found three stable hands who looked just the type to be easily influenced.

“Evening, gents,” he began, the three of them ignored him at first until Luci flashed a gold Zog coin in front of them, that got their attention.

“What's the king paying you to be here?” he asked.

The three looked at each other, and then the middle one answered. “Nuttin'. He threatened us.”

“And you bought that?” Luci said, faking astonishment. “I hear that the maids were paid three Zogs, and the cooks were paid five.”

One of the men – a gruff-looking one, the oldest looking of the three – gave the middle one a side eye. “Ain't your brother a cook? How come he didn't tell you that?”

The middle one nodded, his indignation clearly rising as well. “Yeah, why'd he do something like that? And we're sitting here like rubes while they're getting paid?”

The three rose together and found who had to be the middle man's brother a few rows over. Luci watched as they started to interrogate him and shove him around, pretty soon there was a brawl between the stable hands and the cooks, and in the confusion the fight escalated so much that the guards had to step in. They lead each one of the men out of the area, now halving the half of the original audience.

Luci rubbed his little hands with a glee he hadn't felt for a while. Causing chaos was just as much fun – maybe even more – if it was done for a noble pursuit. Well, semi-noble, anyway.

The group now down to Bunty, her husband Stan, Merkimer, and a handful of others, Luci felt that his job had been accomplished. He found that Bean had been hiding in a shadowy corner, watching as Luci thinned the herd. The smile that he gave her with those glinting buck teeth – the approval and gratefulness in her eyes – would he ever get used to the leap he felt in his heart whenever she did that?

“Luci, you're amazing,” she said as he closed the space between them. “Thank you, this is way better.”

“Well, you know---” Luci said, trying to stay collected about it. “It wasn't much trouble. Don't say I never did anything for you.”

Elfo had apparently exited the closet and found them as well. He took in the smaller audience, eyebrow raised.

“Wow, where'd all the elves go? Luci, how?”

“One word: Gossipo.”

“Oh, of course,” Elfo nodded.

The two looked back to Bean to notice that she had begun to head away from them, waving to someone somewhere behind them, Luci couldn't help but see that Bean's smile grew just a little bit brighter as she left them.

He turned around and followed her with his eyes as she – of course – met up with Pendergast. The knight was clearly getting ready to bow to her, but appeared to have caught himself and made it look like he was just adjusting his belt. They were far enough away that they were just out of earshot, but he could fairly accurately guess what was being said. Pendergast was saying something dumb that he thought Bean would want to hear, and it was only just a matter of time before one of his remarks earned him a boot to the groin.

“Well, I guess I'd better go take a seat,” Elfo said. “I'll tell you all about it later, Luci.”

“Oh, I'm staying,” Luci replied, and Elfo stopped to blink at him.

“You are, really? I thought you were just saying that. But what about seeing her with Pendergast?”

Luci waved a hand in dismissal. “Pfft, I'll be okay this time around. Besides, you've seen Bean with guys all the time, and it doesn't seem to bother you.”

“I put on a brave face, but the tear stains on my pillow would tell you something different.”

“You sure those are tear stains?” he asked with a playful shove for Elfo to move. Luci then followed him to a couple of the closest seats to the makeshift stage.

* * *

Now that the crowd was a mere small gathering, and now that she could find his and Elfo's faces seated among them, Bean looked a lot more calm and collected. Her hand shook just a tad as she waved to the audience, but when her eyes briefly locked onto his, Luci could see her resolve still herself.

“So, um... hi everyone,” she began. “Thanks for coming, I guess.”

Someone near the back called out. “Yeah, I heard we were getting paid to be here?”

“Huh? No,” Bean answered them.

“Well, I'm out,” came the person's reply, and Luci heard footsteps walk down and away from the group.

“Okay---,” Bean said to that random interruption. “Well, for those of you who actually wanted to be here – and those my dad threatened – thanks for your support.”

Slowly Bean pulled a small stack of papers out for everyone to see. She shuffled them a bit nervously, but then found the one she wanted.

“So I wrote this poem in the form of three haiku. I call them that because I wrote my first one when I was high on kuku root.”

She then cleared her throat, and began to read aloud.

  
  


_The dreams of a girl_

_who grows up in a castle_

_are ignored by men_

A pause, and then the second verse

_A scepter is frail_

_unlike the one who wields it_

_stronger than they know_

Another pause, then the last haiku

_The love I search for_

_will know me inside and out_

_will my soul reflect_

  
  


When she had finished, Elfo, Bunty, her husband Stan, and even Merkimer applauded lightly. Luci had moved from his seat beside Elfo and found a spot slightly apart from the group, and though he too clapped for Bean, he kept his eyes trained on Pendergast. He wanted to see just how badly the dope was going to crash and burn without him.

“Well, those were lovely, they were,” Bunty complimented. “Weren't they, Stanny?”

“I never heard of that sort of poetry before, but they were well thought out, I think.”

“Agreed,” chimed in Merkimer. “You can hardly tell they were written with the help of the ol' artist's little helper.”

“I only said I was high when I started writing these, for these ones I was sober. Well, for the most part,” Bean said.

“Oh, in that case they're even better!” Merkimer replied. “With such exquisite phrasing, you'd have thought they were written by a man.”

“Are you all kidding? Those didn't even rhyme,” Pendergast remarked. “And they're far too blunt, like you had some sortof syllable count to hit or something.”

“It's not always about making things rhyme, it's about painting a picture with words,” Mekimer said.

“Yeah, what the pig man said,” Bean agreed. “What, you think you could do better?”

“Not to belittle your efforts, Pri--- I mean Bean,” Luci heard Pendergast catch himself with using her name instead of her title. If only he could have caught a clue while he was at it. “But this is clearly something even a child could do.”

He was digging himself even deeper, Luci could tell. It was super satisfying for both versions of himself – old and new - to witness.

“Oh, so my skills are the same as a child's, are they?”

“That wasn't--- that is, what I meant was--- In my defense, I said, 'not to belittle'.”

Luci knew that wasn't going to fly with Bean, and it was slowly seeming to dawn on Pendergast as well.

“You know, you've been acting weird all day, and now you criticize something that means a lot to me. if you're so confident you know how to write a better poem, how about you do just that?”

“What do you mean?” Pendergast asked, already looking nervous and she zeroed in on him.

“Let's make it an official challenge from me. Write me a poem in ten minutes that these guys deem better than mine.” Bean gestured to her small audience. “Unless you don't think you can.”

“Ten minutes? He laughed,” Why not make it five?”

Bean crossed her arms, an assured smile on her face at his brash cockiness. “Okay, have it your way. Five minutes, and it's gotta be deemed better than mine.”

  
  


“I accept your challenge, my lady,” he said, not stopping himself from bowing this time, and with a flourish he went off to an antechamber presumably to write.

  
  


As Pendergast passed him he and Luci shared a silent look, and Luci tried as hard as he could to get across in that silent look that the knight was very much on his own here.

  
  


* * *

“Bean, you seemed really peeved at him,” Elfo said. “Was it really so bad, what he said?”

Clearly what Pendergast had said – and now what his clueless elf friend said – had struck a nerve with Bean. She rounded on Elfo.

“Elfo, he was the one who wanted to hear them in the first place. I know there's such a thing as being brutally honest, but you'd think if he actually cared he'd soften the harsh words with some compliments before and after like some sort of bread or something.”

“Or he could just be a moron who doesn't know crap about poetry,” Luci added. “We'll just see how well he does when it's his literary neck being put out there.”

“Yeah, we'll just see,” Bean agreed.

Of course, Pendergast's five minutes were up in a flash and he was back in the room proper. Still scribbling on his parchment as he walked back in.

“Okay, time's up, Pen. Put the quill down.” Bean said, motioning for him to get on with his reading.

“Naturally, I'm ready whenever you are,” he answered, not a shred of nerves nor anxiety about him.

Bean then plopped herself down beside Elfo as Luci continued to hide in the shadows. He had a feeling that this was going to be good. And by good, he meant bad.

“I dedicate this poem to the lovely, Princess Bean. May there be no hard feelings when I emerge victorious once again.”

“Let's put your words on the page where the words from your mouth are coming, and we'll see,” she answered, giving him a point and a clicking sound with her mouth.

Pendergast cleared his throat, rustled his paper, and then with a voice clear as a bell, began to recite his poem.

  
  


_Whose teeth is that? I think I know_

_Their owner is quite happy though_

_Full of joy like a vivid rainbow_

_I watch her laugh and cry hello_

_She rises from her gentle bed_

_with thoughts of kittens in her head_

_she eats her jam with lots of bread_

_ready for the day ahead._

  
  


Luci's jaw dropped. That had to be one of the worst poems he had ever heard, and they literally taught sub-demons in Hell how to make terrible limericks for torture purposes.

Apparently he was not alone in that opinion.

“Well, that was um... certainly something,” Bunty said, clearly trying to give Pendergast something.

“It was, um....” Stan tried to continue for his wife.

“That was so terrible I think you gave me the plague,” Merkimer stated bluntly. “And I think I can safely say my fellow judges agree.”

“Tougher than it looks, huh?” Bean said with a smirk, but Pendergast did not seem like the type to take losing well. Apparently even when losing to the woman he was trying to get with.

Luci almost couldn't bear to watch. Almost.

“You clearly just... didn't give me enough time!” he shouted. “And what was this supposed to prove, anyway? This was a dumb, meaningless challenge.”

“Hey, it was my challenge, remember? And it happens to mean something to me!” Bean shouted back. “Look Pen, if you're getting tired of this whole thing, you can just go. It's not like I'm forcing you to spend time with me. You're the one who wants to court me or whatever.”

She turned her back to him, and Luci could see disappointment on her face as she looked at the floor.

“I thought you might actually want to get to know me,” she mumbled, which Luci heard but perhaps Pendergast had not.

“Forget it,” she said with finality. “I'm out of here.”

“No, wait, please,” Pendergast pleaded, his volume back down and his demeanor changing abruptly now that he finally seemed to notice that he screwed up.

He tried to follow her out the door but she slammed it in his face. The trio of judges evidently had taken the opportunity of their distraction to make a break for it and avoid this awkward situation.

This left Pendergast alone with Luci, who emerged from the shadows clapping slowly and smirking up at him.

“Great job, just wonderful,” Luci continued clapping sarcastically. “So what was your strategy, here? Insult her art form and then try to show her up at the same art form at the same time? How old are you, again?”

Pendergast didn't answer, which was good because Luci wasn't done.

“You know this was her attempt to show you a different side of her, to show you something of her inner self, a way to get to know the real her. She doesn't show her first drafts to just anybody.”

'She was trying to tell you something with this, and you spit all over it.” Luci shook his head. “She might be right, you may not still be interested in her.”

“I am, I still am,” he heard Pendergast finally reply.

“Then prove it, make it up to her somehow.”

“But I can't!” he shouted, angry and dejected was an odd combo on him. “I just can't, not alone. You were right, Luci. I still need your help.”

“Well, doy,” Luci said. “I could have told you that. Oh wait, I did. And you ignored me. Now maybe next time you won't doubt my genius.”

“Wait,” Pendergast said. “You still want to help me after the fool I just made of myself?”

“Eh, I won't lie, it was fun to watch. But yeah, I'll still help you,” Luci said. “We just need to fix this mess you made first.”

It was all going according to plan for Luci. Now, he would trust him and not doubt him again. Honestly he could have just kept letting Pendergast screw up in front of Bean, but he still needed his meat suit for his own ends. He needed Pendergast to trust him enough to let Luci keep possessing him. It was still his only way to be close to Bean without her knowing it was him.

And if things started to get too real between her and Pendergast, that was when he would start the second part of his plan.

  
  


* * *

Back in Pendergast’s body, Luci headed out of the castle and into the courtyard, it was time for some serious damage control. He only hoped that the idiot hadn’t ruined both their chances for good with that stunt.

One of the best places in the castle to hide if you didn’t want to be found was the hedge maze. Well, second only to that secret catacomb below the castle where Odvall had those weird sex rituals, but so far as he’d seen, Bean wasn’t into participating in any of that. So, the maze it was.

He made his way through carefully, knowing that he’d never entered before without his catlike night vision, and the fading light was making it difficult for a one-eyed knight to make any sort of progress.

He settled for following the trickling sounds of the fountain that lay at the labyrinth’s center. As it grew louder he could also pick up the faint sounds of sniffling, and one really loud blowing of a nose.

At last, he found her sitting on the fountain’s edge, tossing bits of handkerchief into the water.

Every so often he could see Bean's eyes flick up to the statue of her father at the top of the fountain, gazing lovingly out at the space where the matching depiction of her mother had been. It was one of several such statues that had been 'modified' post-stonification-of-Dreamland. Looking up at it for a moment caused Bean to sniffle once more and blow her nose even louder.

Her red vest thrown off and floating nearby in the pool as well, Luci cautiously approached her, hoping that the mere sight of him wasn’t enough to make her flee in anger again.

His footsteps must have come within earshot, for her head turned to him and her expression fashioned into a glare.

“What do you want?”

He paused in his approach, freezing under her death stare. He certainly hoped he'd never have to see her look at him like that as Luci.

“Look, I'm--- I'm sorry,” Luci began, using a kind of apology he thought sounded believable coming from the knight. “That was a douchey thing to do, and you were right, it was harder than it looks.”

Her glare didn't soften, but she sniffed again and he took that as permission to continue, as well as move a little closer, his hand reaching out in surrender.

“I guess I just really didn't understand how much this meant to you. Obviously there is more to it than I figured. I am an ass and I humbly ask for you to accept my apology.”

“You're right. You were an ass. A big one.”

“The absolute biggest,” he agreed. “Did I ever tell you that's how I lost my eye? I had my head so far up my ass that it got lost in there.”

That earned a reluctant smile and a small puff of amused air from Bean's nose.

She at least allowed him to come and sit on the opposite side of the fountain from her. The torch light fell on her flowing shirt, the thin fabric ruffling in the cooling night air. 

The red vest caught his eye again, it floated a little out of arms reach from him, but he figured he could grab it for her if he leaned over the side.

She appeared to have noticed his hand reaching for it, for she shot up and turned to reach for it as well.

"Oh, no, it's fine. You don't have to---"

"No, I've got it, almost---" he said as his longest finger barely touched the vest, pushing it further away from him and closer to Bean's own reaching hand.

Luci used Pendergast's other arm to attempt to pull himself back to the fountain's edge, but he slipped on the wet stone and fell face first into the water.

Bean must have done the exact same thing for as he began to splash in the pool to right himself, he heard another splash and saw Bean flailing around too.

Both of them sufficiently drenched, they both stood with their legs in the water. Luci used Pendergast to pick up the errant garment and met Bean in the middle to hand it to her. The water must have cooled her temper, for she gave a laugh and lightly smacked his torso with the vest. It made a wet slapping sound not unlike a fish.

Stumbling back over the edge of the pool, Luci placed Pendergast closer to Bean this time as she found her earlier spot. Her tears apparently gone or at least gone for now, she didn't say anything about his closer proximity.

"You really didn't need to do that," she said. "One of us could have made it out of here dry."

"It probably should have been you," he replied. "I do owe you, after all. Does this make us even?"

"Oh, not even close," she said with amusement. "I'm gonna just keep you waiting on that. I'll let you know when we're even."

He chuckled, knowing she was only slightly kidding.

“But I am sorry,” he repeated. “I guess I just didn't think it was that big of a deal.”

It was another moment before she spoke again, he took that moment to take in how the moonlight shone on her hair making it almost glow in the dim light.

“Well, I might have overreacted a tad,” she conceded. “But it's still important to me. I wanted to express myself, to set myself apart from--- others.”

She paused before she had said the word 'others' which Luci figured was going to be a different word entirely.

Feeling like she might want a change in topic, he thought to shift to where he'd found her.

"So of all the places around here to hide, why'd you pick this?"

"I dunno," she said, a wistful tone easing into her voice as she watched the water trickle down the fountain, eyes lingering a moment on the same empty space her father's statue looked into.

"I know it's stupid, but it does seem to always come back to them, to her. I want to be able to get out of both of their shadows. Maybe I just want something I do to just be for me and not because of my dad or some prophecy."

She gave a mirthless chuckle and continued. “It all just comes back to my evil mom. She would just _love_ that.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, genuinely curious about how those dots connected.

"She said she knows me better than I knew myself, that I can't fight this grand destiny I have. That I'm just like her."

"But what does she know?" Luci said in an attempt to console. "She doesn't know you."

"But what if she does?" Bean asked. "What if she's right? It terrifies me to think that she knows something about me I don't, To think that I'm destined to become whatever it was she had me to be."

“I guess I can kinda understand that. Being created for a certain purpose, and then realizing maybe you don't quite want to be that anymore – or at all,” he said, catching himself again. “Of course, I don't know anything about mothers, being an orphan and all.”

Bean nodded, clearly lost in thought, her gaze was back down to her hands where she still held the drenched vest. Luci took advantage of her distraction to inch Pendergast just that much closer to her.

"Maybe it's kind of okay that you don't know your parents. You can pretend that they were these great, caring people. You never have to be disappointed."

'Must be better than what I've got. Even though she's not here, I still feel my mom all around me sometimes. That feeling used to be comforting, but now… now it just creeps me out."

"It's easy for someone to seem perfect when they're not around. And I understand how the real thing can be a letdown from the fantasy version of that person you make up in your head," he said.

"That's an understatement," Bean mumbled. "And I hate that it took her turning out to be evil for me to appreciate the family I already had. She has no concept of family, and I guess I'm trying extra hard now so that nobody can ever say the same thing about me."

The very fact that she wanted so badly to do that made the difference between her and her mom plain as day to Luci. But he could sense that to Bean they were much more muddled.

He felt like any words to reassure her of those differences in this body at least would be met with skepticism, but he had to try. He tried to muster his words in as plain a way as he could so as to avoid any confusion.

"I don't think you have to worry about that at all," he said, holding her gaze in a way he hadn't been able to since he found her. She appeared to wait with baited breath for his next words.

Luci knew exactly what Bean needed to hear in that moment, she wanted to hear the words all children of crappy parents long to hear. At least through all this deception, he could say these words with utter honesty.

“You're nothing like your mother, Bean.”

She blinked at him, a soft smile emerging along with watery eyes. She sniffled, trying to fight back the tears.

“That's sweet of you, but you didn't know her, so how can you be sure?”

“It doesn't matter,” he whispered, bringing Pendergast's hand --– no, his, for in this moment he wasn't pretending and Pendergast had no part in it. Not to Luci anyway. He brought his hand to cup the side of Bean's face.

“Because I know you.”

She leaned into his touch, her eyes still red but in less danger of spilling over than they had been.

Luci felt the warmth of her cheek through the hand that cupped it, completely forgetting about his borrowed flesh now. Because all that mattered was that he was there with Bean, and Bean was there looking at him that way--- like he was coming to her rescue. Even though he knew she'd never admit it.

It would be so easy, Luci thought. So easy right now to tip her chin up and bring her lips up to his in exactly the way he had been imagining for so long now. He should have taken advantage of it – old Luci wouldn't hesitate if this was what he wanted – but new Luci understood how upset Bean was at the mention of her mom. This wasn't the right time, not if he really was the best friend he claimed to be.

So, he held back, be guided her in for a hug instead, gently pressing slowly enough so that she could push him away if she so chose.

Her head now leaning on his shoulder, Luci could hear the tears finally come, a choking gasp that signaled Bean had finally given in to her emotions. She then clung to him tighter, and he simply wrapped his arms around her and allowed her to cry it out.

It didn't take long for her to compose herself, she sniffled again and wiped her nose on her sleeve, finally puling away from him.

“Thanks so much for that, Pen. And thanks for trying so hard not to look at my see-through wet shirt. That was really classy.”

“Anytime,” Luci answered with a gentle smile. Now that she mentioned it, it was impossible for him to keep from looking, but he held her gaze.

She rolled her eyes, chuckling softly. “Go ahead, I know you’re dying to. But only like, five seconds.”

“Well, I mean, you brought them - it - up.”

“Five,” she began counting down. “Four…”

He didn’t make a show of looking, but when you tell a demon he shouldn’t be doing something, then suddenly that’s all they want to do. Not that it was a bad view by any means.

“Aaaand, one. Okay the vest is going back on now,” she said as she threaded her arm through the still-wet but much thicker fabric.

* * *

His initial plans for the evening completely wrecked, Luci piloted Pendergast as he guided Bean back to her room, knowing full well that he wasn't going to be permitted to enter and that this would truly be the end of the night.

“Well, goodnight,” she said, turning to him but not making to open the door quite yet. “I'm sorry you had to see me like that, but thanks for being there, for understanding.”

“No problem,” was all he could manage. Was she lingering here for a reason, giving him an in to do something? Or was this just an awkward moment while she waited for him to leave so she could go inside already?

He took a breath and leaned in slightly, remembering his hesitation from earlier and the reasons behind it. But if Bean wanted to do something with his lips so close, who was Luci to stop her?

In that exact moment, however, he got an idea, and leapt away from her just as she was beginning to close the gap.

“Goodnight then!” he nearly shouted, turning on his heel and speeding away to find somewhere to write and then to exit his favorite skin puppet.

* * *

It didn't take Luci long at all to scratch out something he thought might work, and even less time to find a place in the back of the stables to bring Pendergast in on the new plan.

“Here,” Luci threw the piece of paper at Pendergast. “Slip this under her door.”

Once he was finished with his usual post-possession retch, Pendergast picked up the paper, looking at him skeptically. “What is it?”

“It's a do over from earlier, just take it to her already.”

Pendergast looked down at the folded paper, making to open it, but Luci stopped him.

“Hey, dingus, I said do it now. Chop chop, before I change my mind.”

Pendergast gave him one more skeptical look before nodding and heading for Bean's room.

Easily finding a way to beat Pendergast there, Luci found Bean dozing on her window seat and wouldn't notice his entrance. To ensure that she awoke when Pendergast slipped the note under the door he perched himself near her as if he too were sleeping, and as he heard the faint sound of parchment sliding across stone, he lightly poked her in the face with his tail.

This roused her slightly, and as Luci heard Pendergast knock a couple times on the door, his tail made contact with her face again, this time jolting her awake with a loud, interrupted snore.

“Huh, wha?” she said through sleepiness.”Luci?”

“Yeah, it's me,” he answered. “Nice of you to join me.”

“That doesn't---” Bean said with a yawn as she sat upright. “Where've you been? I didn't see you after you thinned the crowd.”

  
  


“Nice to know you missed me, too. But never you mind,” Luci said. “I just thought you'd like to know someone just slipped that under your door.” He pointed to the letter stuck part way under the corner of her rug, a beam of moonlight giving it a kind of spotlight in the darkness.

Gazing quizzically at the paper, Bean reached down and lifted it from the floor. She then sat down on her bed as she unfolded it. Luci obligingly lit a candle for her on her nightstand so she could see it better.

He watched as she read it silently, her eyes scanning the words and a smile forming as she read on. He didn't need her to read it out loud, Luci knew what it said by heart, for he had written it.

_The fearless moonlight, shines down upon the world_

_unafraid of the cold night, with its mysteries unfurled_

_A beauty whose hair reflects the moon's soft, white glow_

_Travels home without care, her best friends in tow._

_Though some strangers may glare and judge and infer_

_Those who know her declare, they can't live without her._

_A woman whose worth lies beyond her connections_

_made fiends into friends and changed their perceptions_

_If forever his lifespan, if eternal his role_

_For the love of this woman this man would give up his soul._

It was a not-so-subtle hint at his true nature, but one that he figured that Bean wouldn't immediately pick up on.

And Luci was right, for as she scanned the page over and over again, clearly reading it several times over, not once did she look over at him.

Cradling the letter delicately now in her hands, Bean crossed the room in a flash and swung the door open.

She halted when she saw Pendergast on the other side, clearly about to knock once more.

Luci couldn't see her expression as she looked up at him, but he could clearly see the shock on his face as she swiftly grabbed him into an embrace.

He wrapped his arms around her, eagerly welcoming her grasp and the firmness of her lips as they met his. She grasped his shirt with a fierceness that Luci had never seen before, both their eyes closed in rapturous bliss and the the two of them maneuvered to be as close as humanly possible.

Crap. He didn't anticipate that it would hurt this much to see them like this. Of course he had imagined that he'd be inside Pendergast when this finally happened, but being an outside observer cut him so deep that he thought his soul might be bleeding out inside of him.

He should have gone for it earlier, his old self berated him. This new self had made him lose out on this perfect moment. It was making him weak.

But then again, his new self reminded him that there was no way he could have known if she had wanted to kiss him earlier.

“I was hoping you would go ahead and kiss me yourself earlier,” he heard Bean gasp as she took a breath between kisses. “You were so great about giving me space, it was probably the perfect time.”

Double crap, now it felt like his heart was sinking into the depths of whatever fluid it was that souls bled out.

He climbed out of the window and perched on the gargoyle outside, tail curled around it more for comfort than for extra grip. There had to be a word for feeling like this. He was somehow full of a profound emptiness and a hurricane of impotent rage. Where that rage storm was directed, he wasn't quite sure. Towards Bean? No, no, never. Towards Pendergast? Well, who had come up with this stupid plan in the first place? Certainly not that douche.

At himself? That was probably the safest option, or the most logical. Good thing though that demons weren't terribly known for their logical conclusions.

Leaping back inside, he took advantage of their current preoccupation to slip the gleaming - and still quite full - chamber pot into closer proximity. As Bean began to pull Pendergast onto the bed, Luci held out his tail, and in the darkness Pendergast tripped, whacked his head on the bed post, and fell with a clang on top of the chamber pot.

Hard as it was to see in the darkness, Luci could hear the sloshing mess that cascaded on top of him, and he chuckled quietly as he made a hasty exit before either of the humans could notice.

Now was the time, then. It was time to put the rest of his plan into action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the chapter I really wanted to get to, hope y'all like it. ^^ Expect the final installment(s?) before 1/15/21


	6. Chapter 6

Derek was quickly running out of adults to ask about his problems with Roxette. His dad had offered up the advice that he should try to show her his strength, which was difficult for him when he got tired from just carrying his stuffed bear up a flight of stairs.

All this time that he was looking for someone to help him, he knew that he was not spending the time he was supposed to be with Roxette. It was getting close to when she would have to journey home in a few days, and Derek was getting the impression that she thought he was ignoring him.

Mostly it was her saying, ‘It seems like you’re ignoring me,’ that clued him in. But none of the advice he had gotten from the other men in the castle had said anything about what to do with the girl once she was actually spending time with you. He only wished he could just have fun with her again like on their first night when they went to the seaside. It was a little too sandy for Derek’s liking, but Roxette had had a nice time, it seemed.

Ideally, he’d like to talk to Bean’s new friend, Pendergast, or her friend Luci, but he ran into Elfo first on his way to see one of them, so he figured he might as well ask him too.

“Hey, Elfo!” he called, startling the elf. “Do you have a minute?”

“Uh, sure, I guess,” he said, looking puzzled.

Derek then went into his tale of how things had been going with Roxette and how every single one of the pieces of advice the men of the castle had given him turned out to not work.

“Well, there's your problem right there,” Elfo said. “You're asking them for things that you should do for or with her. You're not asking the right questions. I may not be a stud, but I know that what you should be asking is what she might want you to give her.”

“Give her? Like, as a present?”

“Yeah, does she like candy? Because I can set you up big time in the candy department.

“Uh, I think she's allergic to chocolate.”

“Wow, and you still like her?” Elfo asked. “She must be pretty special. What about flowers?”

“Is that a thing most people do?” he asked.

“From what I've seen, but I haven't tried it myself. Candy's just been my go-to only because it's just always around.”

“I thought you didn't like making candy?” Derek asked.

“Oh, I still don't, but that doesn't mean other people don't.” Then Elfo clapped his hands and began to wave Derek goodbye.

“Well, this has been nice, but I'm gonna go ahead and get back to the A-story now. I'm not really feeling this B-story.”

Derek tilted his head in question, to which Elfo continued.

“Oh, that's what I call the levels of the castle. The A-story where I usually see Bean and Luci, the B-story where we are, and in all honestly it confuses me and is nowhere near long enough, the C-story—- you get what I mean, right?”

“Not really, no.”

“You should try labeling the castle floors sometime, I find it helps me keep track of what's going on in any given part of this place.”

Derek wasn't entirely sure about that, but as the elf toddled away, he did think Elfo might have been right about giving Roxette something like flowers. He might as well give it a shot

* * *

Guiding Roxette along through the woods, Derek held on tight to the tiny bottle he had managed to swipe from Sorcerio's chamber. He wasn't exactly sure what it was supposed to do, but it had a picture of a bee on it, so he thought taking Roxette to see what it might do at a beehive might be a fun outing.

“And then after this, I'll have another surprise for you when we get back to your room,” he said enthusiastically. He turned to see her cautiously following him, eager but reluctant to keep in step with his confident strides.

“If you say so,” Roxette replied, taking a little more time than Derek had to clear a log that was in their way. “I'm just pleased you were able to find some time to spend with me.”

“And just wait until you see what we're heading towards,” Derek said, his smile catching on Roxette just a little, but he felt that was enough for now.

As they neared the meadow, the telltale buzzing of the hive Derek was searching for fell on his ears. He quickened his step before stopping just out of sight of it, crouching down and gesturing for Roxette to come over next to him.

“See there?” he asked, waiting for Roxette to spot them.

“When she caught sight of them, her brow crinkled quizzically. “Bees?”

“Yeah, but not any regular bees. These are Dreamland bees. They're supposed to make the very best honey, guaranteed to give you the sweetest of dreams.”

“Neat,” Roxette said. “We don't have any kind of thing like that in Chavera. Well, we have the Nightmare Hornets, but they don't really give you nightmares, they just sting you so much your life becomes a nightmare.”

“Also neat,” Derek said. “The Dreamland bees aren't supposed to sting you unless their queen is disturbed, so we should be okay to collect some honey.

“Why not ask one of your servants to get you the honey, Derek?” she asked.

Derek shrugged, not wanting to give away too much that he mostly just wanted to be able to spend time with her doing something he hoped she'd like. He then pulled out a large glass jar and a honey stick. He handed them to Roxette as he began to try and take the cork out of the tiny bee-labeled bottle.

“What's that?” she asked, pointing to the bottle Derek was struggling with.

“I think it's something to distract the bees with. I found it in our sorcerer's chamber.” As he was twisting and turning the cork, he noticed some small print on the side of the label. “Hey, Roxette, what are 'pheromones'?”

But before she could answer, Derek had finally loosened the cork with his teeth, causing most of the liquid inside to splash all over him. The acrid scent of bee pheromones hit his nostrils and soaked his hair.

Roxette's wide-eyed expression told Derek that this was not a good thing to have happened.

“What, what?” he asked, beginning to panic.

“It's fine, it's fine,” she tried to reassure him. “If the bees are anything like the Nightmare Hornets, as long as you're downwind of them they won't smell you.”

As was their luck, however, the wind that blew through the meadow came from behind them, wafting over the grass to the beehive, the bees already becoming agitated.

The swarm grew larger as it started for them, Roxette began to run but Derek stopped her.

“I'll run for it, you get the honey,” he said, thinking he was sounding quite brave to his own ears.

“Are you crazy? No honey is worth this!”

“But I want you to have it!” he yelped as the swarm caught up with him.

He couldn't see what was happening behind him for Derek had made a break for safety right after that, leaving Roxette behind which – once he realized that she had caught up with him – she did not look too pleased about.

“Were you ever chased by those hornets? He asked as they continued to run.

“No, but I can't imagine it would be much worse,” she shouted back, slightly panting from the sudden exertion.

“They should get tired soon and go back to their hive, we just have to keep running.”

“Oh joy,” she shouted with much sarcasm.

They ran in a zigzag pattern through the field, but it seemed every time they turned the bees would continue to make chase, a few of the bolder ones catching up to sting the backs of their necks. If the pain in his neck was any indication it had to have been at least five stings so far.

He looked over to Roxette who was furiously swatting some of them away, obviously not having one bit of fun. There were angry red welts swelling up on her neck and face as well, which Derek didn't think would help her mood.

“I thought you liked insects!”

“Not when they're chasing me, I told you we don't have bees like this where I'm from!”

To evade the bees, Derek swiftly grabbed Roxette's hand and pulled her off into an embankment. He watched as the swarm flew over their heads, missing them by mere inches. Roxette quickly wrenched her hand from his grip.

“And don't grab me like that, I don't like it.”

“I was just trying to get you to safety,” he tried to explain, but she cut him off.

“From the danger, you put us in. You know, maybe this was a mistake, you're not as nice as I thought you were.”

“I'm really sorry Roxette, I was just trying to get you something you liked.”

“Well, maybe ask me next time,” she shot back. “I would storm off now but those bees haven't given up yet, so I'll wait here with you, but I'm still upset so don't talk to me.”

She plopped down onto the ground and Derek sat a little ways away from her. Giving an involuntary sigh as he thought about how this could have gone so wrong.

“Sighing counts as talking,” she said.

He then mumbled sadly, hoping that that didn't count as well.

* * *

The moment they returned to the castle, Roxette's parents met her in a swarm of their own and looked just as angry as the bees had.

“Roxette, there you are, we've been so worried!” her mother cried as she grabbed her daughter in a hug.

“We were just off playing in the woods,” she replied with a meaningful look to Derek. Clearly, she wasn't mad enough at him to divulge what they had been doing to her parents.

“But the flowers--- someone left us a death omen in our room!” her father said. “A dozen freshly cut flowers to watch slowly die, they had your name on them.” He handed her a card and she looked at it, turning it over to see Derek's name on the other side.

“Derek, how could you?”

“How could I what?”

“Don't you know that Chaverans only give flowers for two reasons: for a funeral, and to threaten death.”

Derek shook his head vigorously, he had had no idea when Elfo had suggested it.

“No, That's not what I was meaning to do at all. In Dreamland, flowers are a nice gift.”

“Didn't you at least ask somebody first? Your dad, or your adviser?”

“I—I didn't mean to, I'm sorry. I didn't think--- you have to believe me.”

“Honestly Derek, after how hot and cold you've been with me, I don't know what to believe.”

“Let's get your things, Roxette We'll be leaving tonight,” said her mother.

“No, stop, really I'm sorry,” Derek called. “Just let me get my dad and Odvall, they can straighten this out.

“Father, Mother, can we please wait for Derek's dad?” Roxette asked. She looked him over and must have seen the sincerity on his face. “At least we should go and talk to him. Maybe they do have an explanation.”

Her parents appeared to deliberate this before reluctantly nodding.

“Very well, dear. But I want you to stay with us for the remainder of our stay, however short that will be,” her father said with a leer at Derek before they swept Roxette away.

* * *

The morning after the chamber pot incident Luci believed Pendergast to be none the wiser as to who exactly was to blame, the dope just seemed pleased he got so far with Bean that it was probably almost worth having to immediately dunk his head in the closest basin of water and scrub his hair until the morning.

Luci only barely listened to him as Pendergast told him this, for all through the day Luci was seething. Had he been able to sleep his dreams would have been filled with the knight’s blood-curdling screams.

Because even though Pendergast had a miserable morning, Bean had woken up in the best mood Luci had seen her in in a long time.

The smile on her face as she awoke and prepared herself for the say (mostly just shaking off the dirt and dust from her clothes from the night before to put on) she had such a spring in her step and a gleam in her eyes that made both parts of Luci - old and new - feel sick for different reasons.

He and Elfo carried on a silent conversation at breakfast while Bean was telling them about the night before. Luci was enjoying the parts she was gushing about that included him, naturally, but once she got to the poem he suddenly was ready to jam the corkscrew from the breakfast wine in his ears.

“But I was just overwhelmed, and I felt drunk on actual feelings and not the kind substances give me on a semi-daily basis. Then things started to heat up, and I don’t think I need to tell you what happened then.”

“I don’t think you need to either,” said Elfo, who also looked like he was eyeing the corkscrew for ear-impaling purposes. “Please.”

“Isn’t that when he fell head-first into your disgustingly full chamberpot?”

Bean lowered her fork and frowned at him. “Yes, that did happen, but everything up until then had been perfect, it was an almost perfect night.”

“Yeah, which ended with a crappy knight,” Luci snickered, hoping the double meaning was clear. Explaining the joke always killed the humor.

He winked behind Bean’s chair at Elfo, who seemed to have gotten it, although he was looking at Luci with suspicion.

“Mm-hmm,” Elfo said to fill the small silence. “Bean, I think you should go and get another omelet from the kitchen.”

“What do you mean?” she asked. “I can just ask Bunty or somebody to go---”

“You know what? Luci and I will go get you another one, right Luci?”

“We will?” Luci asked, but seeing how extremely bad Elfo was at being subtle, Luci thought he might as well go along with whatever the elf was wanting him to do.

He followed Elfo towards the kitchens but halted with him as Elfo looked around to make sure there wasn’t anyone around.

“Okay, now Luci. I want you to answer me honestly. Did you do something last night to sabotage Pendergast?”

“Oh, I think you know the answer to that,” he answered.

Elfo gave a small gasp and pulled Luci in closer to whisper. “But I thought you said you weren’t going to interfere.”

“Yeah, and I thought I wasn’t going to, at least, not so soon. But things changed.” Luci said. “You saw how gushy and--- happy Bean is today. It’s just… hard to see her like that when I didn’t do that to her.”

Or when she didn’t know that he was responsible for the smile on her face, or at least for the most part. It killed him to think that Pendergast was taking credit for that ‘almost perfect’ night Bean had had. But that had been the plan, hadn’t it? Now was the time for phase two.

“I get that, Luci. But isn’t being a real friend all about wanting to see your friend happy, even if it’s not with you?”

Deep down, Luci figured Elfo was right, he had to be. But Elfo also wasn’t a demon who was really good at getting back at those who kept them from what they wanted.

“I do want her to be happy, but I also want to be happy, and sabotaging that douche Pendergast will make me feel happy.”

He saw Elfo consider this, clearly weighing his conscience against his own darker instincts, if he indeed had them.

“Well, if it’s what you think you need to gain closure, I guess a little messing with Pendergast would be okay. Nothing that would hurt Bean though, okay?”

“Believe me, that’s the last thing I want to do,” Luci replied. He was pleased to hear he had Elfo on his side now, at least. He might need him for what he was planning on bringing down on Pendergast today.

His old demon self was going to be very proud.

* * *

When they returned to the dining hall, Luci was more surprised than he should have been to see Pendergast already by Bean’s side, doing his feeble attempts at chatting her up. Of course, from the way Bean was laughing and touching his hand, they weren’t so feeble anymore.

Whatever the idiot was whispering, Bean was finding it absolutely hilarious. He couldn’t help but remember how it had been him she was looking all stupid and flirty at, despite the fact that he was looking through someone else’s eye.

Luci leaped onto the table, literally coming between the two of them, separating their faces that were much too close for his liking.

“Luci?” Bean asked. “What’s wrong, and where’s my omelette?”

“Oh, you know what? My bad,I think Pendergast and I should go and get that for you.”

“But you left with Elfo to get it and the two of you combined didn’t bring it back, so…”

“No, No, Bean,” Pendergast said, rising from his seat. “I think Luci might need my help getting the omelette.”

“Oh, I think you’re the one who needs help getting an omelette, if you know what I mean.”

“I don’t,” Bean said. “But I guess it’s nice that you two are on first name terms, now. Don’t know how that happened, but sure.”

Luci made a show of climbing up to Pendergast’s shoulder, being sure to use his claws to their fullest with every grasp.

“Hey, dumbass, I thought we decided that you weren’t going to try and hang around Bean without me.”

He waited for Pendergast to answer, but he appeared to ignore Luci until they reached the kitchens, exclaiming in pain as he tried to pry Luci from his shoulder and Luci dug his claws in tighter.

“Listen,” Pendergast whispered when at last Luci couldn’t hold on any longer. Pendergast placed him on the floor. Luci didn’t know if it was a power move to make him feel like the bigger man here, or if he thought so little of Luci that he didn’t think to place him at eye level. Either way, It was not a great angle for the knight.

“I know we talked about it and I know I might just owe you one for last night, but I think I really can take it from here.”

“The hell you are, we had a deal!” he shouted, Pendergast, placed his hands on his hips, holding one hand out to silence him.

“Well, I’m dissolving it. Bean is interested in me, and soon I’ll have the pleasure of finishing what we started in her bedroom before the --- unfortunate incident.”

It was Luci’s luck that the dope wasn’t wearing his suit of armor as was his usual, for he landed several quick bites to Pendergast’s shins, then tripped him over his tail in a similar fashion to how he’d done the night before.

Pendergast stumbled through a doorway and ran straight into a stone wall. He righted himself slowly, turning back to Luci with anger nearly matching his own in his eye.

Luci wasn’t going to let him get another word in, however..

“This ain’t over until I say it’s over!” 

And with that, he launched himself into Pendergast’s mouth, taking control of him before he had the chance to take back his permission.

* * *

Luci stormed out of the kitchens in Pendergast’s body, stomping back towards Bean who looked a mix of confused and peeved at him.

“Pen, where’d Luci go? And am I ever going to get that omelette?”

He ignored the questions and took Bean’s hand in hers, looking straight into her eyes, enjoying the smile that grew on her face as he did so, Too bad he had to make it disappear. One of the benefits of being so close to Bean was that he knew exactly what she wanted to hear, and what he could say that she would absolutely hate.

“Bean, I know we haven’t been courting for very long, and I know just a week or so ago you thought of me as an ugly, stupid, misogynistic, wannabe player with a great voice and an ex-wife who is a horse.”

“That’s not what I--- wait, you married a horse?”

“Yes, that’s right. And got divorced. I’m Horse divorced. But the point is that that horse could not give me exactly what I wanted out of a wife; a house slave to remain barefoot and pregnant and remain in my house to clean it.”

“What are you saying, Pen?” she asked, an anxiousness creeping into her voice as she evidently could see where he was going with this.

“Marry me, Bean. You won’t have to worry about being a princess if you’re too busy cooking and cleaning for me,” He tried very hard to sound sincere when he was trying not to laugh.

Bean was shocked into silence, and it was several long moments before she reacted. Luci was so pleased with her furrowing brow and an intense frown that he temporarily forgot that he was inside the body of the guy she was about to open a flagon of whoop-ass onto.

He had never been acquainted with the sensation of being kicked in the groin, and Luci could definitely say he would very much not like to experience that ever again. It not only knocked the wind out of him but caused him to freeze and fall to the floor in a curled up fetal position. He vowed never to chuckle at someone for getting kicked there ever again. Or at least, for a month or so.

The force of Bean’s kick - however - caused something strange to happen in Pendergast's body, Luci felt Pendergast’s arms and legs beginning to move without his say-so. He felt himself being pulled up by the body he was rapidly losing control over, and he tried to steer it as it staggered back into the kitchens, leaving a no doubt confused and enraged Bean behind.

* * *

Pendergast practically catapulted Luci out of his body, flinging him out of his mouth with a shove to his own stomach like so much of the vomit he had already expelled.

Wiping himself off with a cringe, he flicked Pendergast's stomach fluid off of his tail before realizing the knight was flying into a rage.

“What the hell was that?” he shouted, apparently not caring to keep his voice down. “Were you trying to make me look like the biggest idiot in the kingdom?”

“Oh, you don't need my help for that,” he replied, keeping calm under the knight's temper. “And that was a little thing called payback.”

“Payback, for what?” he said. “All of this had been going so well, you were fixing everything for me, and now you want some sort of payback for helping me?”

“Look, I don't know if you forgot, but this is a demon you've been dealing with. We look out for ourselves.”

“And how exactly is sabotaging me after all the times you've helped me looking out for yourself?” he barked. “Are you jealous that I've been doing so well with Bean that now she might not want to spend time with you and her little green friend as much?”

“Why would I need to be jealous of you when all of that progress you made with her was because of me?”

“I don't even know why I agreed to this whole arrangement!” he continued, Luci wondered if he was shouting at him or at himself. “I guess this was what was in it for you, huh? To get me to trust you and then humiliate me?”

“Something like that,” Luci replied, allowing Pendergast to draw his own conclusions.

“Unless…” Pendergast said, realization dawning on him as he finally seemed to put it together. “You wanted to make me look bad so--- you could have her?”

Luci didn’t want to dignify that with an answer (even if he actually landed on the right reasoning) but he supposed his hesitation spoke for him.

“And to think I thought you were Bean's friend,” he shot the words at Luci so fast he couldn't react right away.

“What was that?”

“You must not think that well of her at all to try and sabotage someone who could make her happy.”

“Oh, and you think that's you? Sorry to break it to you, Pendergast, but she wouldn't have even looked your way without me.”

“But you still stood in the way of her possible happiness,” Pendergast shot back, trying to guilt him for some reason when he was in exactly the same boat.

“Hey, you went right along with me, you're just as bad as I am!”

“You're both bad, you're the worst possible kind of awful,” came a voice from the doorway. Luci's head whipped around to see Elfo in full view, and he didn't have to guess how long the elf had been standing there.

* * *

Crap. Crap crap crap. No, there was no way that Elfo had seen them. No way he had seen Luci exit Pendergast’s body after what he had made the knight say and do just then.

But there he was, in all his tiny, green glory. His tiny, green, and extremely prone to tattletale-ing glory.

He sprang for Elfo a split-second too late, as the elf ran for the door and slammed it shut on his nose. Luci pulled the door back open but by the time he had it Elfo was already sprinting down the stairs as fast as his little legs could carry him.

Luci scrambled up the wall, doing several acrobatic leaps to land in front of him and block his way.

“Listen, Elfo, I know what it looks like, but I can explain,” he began, not entirely sure how he was going to explain any of this in a way that would make Elfo not want to immediately tell Bean on him.

“And what exactly do you need to explain, Lucille? That you’ve been lying to me, to Bean, and to everyone this whole time? How long have you been doing this? Has Pendergast been going along with it the whole time?”

“Look, I know, it seems bad, but---”

“Did it all start before or after I learned about for feelings for Bean, huh,  _ crush brother _ ?”

The dumb nickname was like a knife slicing him open just then. Luci hadn’t realized it would actually hurt if Elfo of all people found out he had been lying.

He sighed, hoping some resigned honesty might compel the elf to keep this under wraps.

“Before,” he said. “Pendergast and I made a deal. I’d possess his body and get Bean to give him the time of day.”

“And I guess Pendergast didn’t know until now what you were getting out of it?” Elfo asked, in a condescending tone that eluded to the elf having the moral high ground. Which, shouldn’t that have been implied?

“No, he didn’t.”

“So you’ve been lying to him too, huh? All so you could have alone time with Bean when you already could have if you’d just asked.”

“It wouldn’t have been the same and you know it!” Luci shot back. “It was the only way to get her to see me the way I want her to.”

“Well, I’m not going to lie to her for you,” Elfo spat with hostility. “I’m not going to hide this from her, I’m a true friend. A true friend doesn’t lie or trick someone just so they can get what they want.”

“Oh please, tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing if you were able to.”

“No, because I’m not a manipulative jackass demon!”

He then tried to shove past Luci but Luci was able to dig his claws in at Elfo’s ankles, sending him toppling to the floor. They rolled around, kicking, punching, biting, and in Luci’s case, taking several shots at Elfo’s exterior genitalia. It was a flurry of rage and punching, a fight so engrossing that Luci didn’t even realize where they had ended up until Elfo gave a final slam to Luci’s middle and he hit a cold stone floor.

In a daze, Luci struggled to get up as a Large, glass jar clanged down on top of him, and several heavy iron cooking utensils here put on top of the glass bottom that sat upside down on top of him, trapping him as he watched Elfo sprint away, with one stern glance back at Luci.

Elfo was pretty dumb sometimes, but he wasn’t stupid. This wouldn’t stop Luci, but it would definitely slow him down. He began to attempt to free himself, knowing that he could never get out of this fast enough to intercept Elfo before he could get to Bean.

She was going to find out, and everything he had risked would crumble. He had ruined everything, and he had nobody to blame for it but himself.

* * *

Luci couldn't get to her fast enough, though. When he entered her room it was to a barrage of randomly assorted and highly breakable objects being hurled at his head upon locking eyes with Bean.

Her eyes were puffy and she had a sheen on her face from some sort of fluid, be it sweat, tears, snot, or some mixture of all three. A fury however lay dormant underneath that only awoke the moment she saw Luci come around the door.

He dodged the first fragile projectile, but she landed a shot straight to his skull with the second, causing him to scramble behind the door close to the stone wall. He only dared to peek back around when she heard him start shouting at him.

“You've got a lot of nerve coming in here like nothing is wrong like you haven't been lying and tricking me for I don't even know how long!”

“Bean, I know you're upset, but---” Luci wasn't entirely sure what he was actually going to say in his defense, but luckily another smash of a family heirloom on the door interrupted him.

“Oh, I am beyond upset,” she seethed, he could hear the hitch in her throat from the crying that must have occurred. “I am--- really, really upset! I don't know a big enough word to describe how upset and hurt and betrayed I feel!”

“I get that,” he tried again, ducking behind the door once more when he saw her going for another object on her dresser.

“No, no you don't. You have no idea how I am feeling right now! You and your buddy Pendergast have been tricking me this whole time! And for what, to try and get him a date with me? To get me in bed with him?”

“No, it wasn't like that,” he called from the safety of behind the door.

“Then what, what was it, Luci? Cause I am coming up with a blank as to why a guy who supposedly cares about me  _ and _ one of my best friends who I  _ thought _ cared about me would trick me like this!”

A quaver in her shout this time betrayed that the tears were falling again. Luci heard her sniff, and something heavy drop back onto the wooden dresser.

“I can't believe that I thought somebody would really care about me like that,” she muttered, voice still shaky. “And to think I actually--- that I thought I was---”

She sniffed again, took a deep breath, and let out a primal scream as the heavy object slammed into the door, this time nowhere near where Luci's head had been.

Luci's stomach had dropped the moment he had walked in, but now his heart ached as it sank down to join it. The guilt inside him was filling him up with every word she screamed at him, with every sniff and sound of the pain he had caused her.

After a few moments, he heard the slight squeak of her mattress springs, a few more sniffs, and the sound of Bean blowing her nose loudly.

“Okay, Luci. I think I'm done throwing things at you now, you can come out.”

Luci peeked around the door. She didn't look to be in any better of a mood, but at least the tears were drying up and the rage – for now – was abated.

Slowly he made his way out of his hiding place and stepped towards her, he hoped that his honest look of remorse was doing something in his favor, but as he approached the bed her face grew harder as if he was only inside the eerie quiet that lay in the eye of a storm.

Hesitantly, Luci climbed up onto the bed beside her. She did not look over at him, but she didn't object or shove him off, either.

They said nothing for several moments. Luci did not try to plead his case. What could he even say? 'Yeah, I lied but it was for you'? No, because in all honestly, even though he said it had been for her, it had been for himself. He wanted her, never mind what she had to say about it. How selfish could a supposed friend get?

He glanced over as he heard Bean take a deep breath, letting it out slowly as if to compose herself.

“I just want to know why Luci. Why you did it. I mean, I get what Pendergast was getting out of the whole deal, but why you?”

He caught her eye, the rage was indeed gone, but now all that was left was the hurt. That was somehow even worse to see.

“I thought you were my friend,” she continued. “What made you go along with it, what could you have possibly hoped to gain?”

The guilt bubbling inside him now pushed the words to the surface. Luci felt he had no other option, it was true honesty time. This was just not the way he had hoped this revelation would have to come out. Even now he struggled with how to say it, and how weak a defense it really was for what he had done.

“I... couldn't find a way to say it for myself, so I thought I could tell you through somebody else.”

“Tell me what?” she asked, and then seemed to make the connection as she had finished saying it. Maybe it was the four-alarm guilt fire that must have been radiating from him, but it looked like the puzzle pieces were clicking into place.

Ears drooped, he looked up at her as the surprise dawned on her face.

“Wait, you--- I mean, this whole time... the challenges, the fountain, the poem, none of that was really Pendergast, was it? That was all _ you _ ?”

Luci looked away from her, the floor seemed a much more fitting place to stare now.

“Luci, I--- How long have you felt this way about me?”

“Since Hell, at least,” he answered. He was waiting for her tone to change to that pitying way she always talked to Elfo when he tried to bring up his feelings.

“Well, I honestly don't know what to say,” Bean said, not with pity, but with clear befuddlement.

“I have a lot to process,” she stared out towards the wall for a second, and she snapped back as she turned to him again, “But I know I'm still mad at you. So... just give me some space to think.”

She gestured for him to leave, which he did without any reply. It was fair enough that he give her some space. Maybe he needed some space of his own.

* * *

It took a while for Luci to think of a place where he didn’t think anyone would come looking for him, and then he remembered that his only friends and anyone else who gave a crap about him weren’t talking to him, so it didn’t really matter where he decided to go and mope. Nobody would be looking for him anyway.

Or so he thought. He hadn’t realized when he plopped down at last on some random tower’s stairs that he had passed Bean’s brother’s room, but just as he was getting a good mope going he sensed someone approaching and coming to rest beside him.

“Um, hey---uh, Luci?” he heard Derek’s voice from slightly above him, although Luci didn’t look higher than the kid’s blue shins.

“Yeah?” he said, half mumbled from his head still resting in his small hands.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked.

“You already are,” he grumbled. He was still feeling the worst he ever had, but he couldn’t pass up the opportunity for a little snarkiness.

He then sighed, what did he have to lose now? “But sure, kid. Go ahead.”

Derek then scooted down a few steps so that he was closer to Luci’s eye level, and that left Luci with nowhere else to look but at his face. It may have been downcast, but it was too annoyingly similar to Elfo’s hopeful demeanor that it was difficult for Luci’s gaze to rest on it for long.

Derek fidgeted too much as he spoke, but him playing with his fingers at least gave Luci somewhere else to look.

“Well---um, I heard about what you did for Pendergast---”

“And lemme guess, you came here to say you hate me too?” he said. “I think I could get the point without you having to rub my face in it by seeking me out.”

Derek shook his head. “No, no, that’s not what I mean. I mean that you helped him out when he didn’t know how to talk to my sister… because he likes her, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So, I have a friend - her name is Roxette - and I really like her but I’ve been having trouble with how to talk to her and stuff. Everybody’s advice I’ve tried so far has been awful.”

“Who’d you ask?” Luci replied, moving his eyes to Derek’s for a second.

Derek started counting on his fingers.

“Well, there was Merkimer, Elfo, Dad…”

“Pssh, no wonder you didn’t get anywhere,” he said.

“I didn’t know what else to do,” Derek said. “It was fine when we were only friends, that was totally easy to do. Just hang out with her and be myself. But then, when I realized that I liked her---”

“It was like you didn’t know how to be yourself around her anymore,” Luci finished the thought for him.

“Exactly!” Derek nodded. “You get it. I don’t wanna freak her out if she doesn’t feel the same. Because what if she doesn’t wanna be my friend anymore?”

“I hear that,” Luci attempted to hide his words through a sigh. “So, what, you want some advice from me, too? Because, to tell you the truth kid, I’ve learned recently that I’m not as good in that area as I thought.”

“Well, no,” Derek said, looking down at his shoes. “I - um - wanted you to help me like you did with Pendergast.”

Luci’s attention turned completely to Derek’s still downcast face. If he had eyebrows, they’d have risen.

When Luci said nothing, Derek continued.

“Could you--- could you possess me, too, like you did for Pendergast? I’ll give you permission, so that’s not a big deal.”

Was this kid serious? Of the many, many things that could have come out of this kid’s mouth, Luci had not expected that. A mixture of surprise and regret threatened to pull his insides down to the very bottom of that soul that was somehow still there.

“I mean, it seemed to work out really well for Pendergast, at least for a while. Bean really seemed to like him after you took over his body.”

Yeah, ‘at least for a while’. How much of the whole story had he heard?

“So, will you, please? Just for a little while, until I’m sure she likes me back.”

Anger flared inside of Luci that he wasn’t entirely sure where it was directed. Towards this kid, who was naive enough to think that this was a good idea, towards Pendergast or whoever Derek had heard this whole fractured mess from, or himself, because hadn’t it been his idea all along?

He stood slowly and got right up in Derek’s face, restraining himself from slapping the dumb idea out of his head since the dumb kid didn’t know any better.

Instead, he sighed deeply, placed a hand on Derek’s shoulder, and looked him straight in the eyes.

“No, Kid. I won’t,” he began. “It was a terrible idea for Pendergast, and it would be even worse for you. Let me tell you something. Women can make up their own minds about things. That should go without saying, but hey, you’re what, twelve?”

“Fourteen.”

“Close enough,” Luci continued. “Bean is her own person. Her own amazing, smart, brave, unrefined, doesn’t-give-a-crap-about-what-anyone-thinks-of-her person. And I’m sure this girl you like is her own person, too. What we--- what  _ I _ did to Bean was really crappy, and I think it screwed up our friendship for good.”

He was rambling now, only half to Derek, but once he started, Luci found it hard to stop.

“Would it still have been hard to just tell her how I feel? Yes, absolutely, but that way at least we might have been able to stay friends. I think I really ruined everything.”

He thought he saw Derek about to interrupt, so he shushed him.

“I tricked Pendergast into doing what I wanted because I was too chicken to tell Bean as myself, and I thought---- well, it doesn’t matter now what I thought was going to happen. The point is I didn’t know how to be myself around her anymore, and this solution was the worst possible thing I could have done because it ended up hurting the one person I never wanted to hurt. My best friend.”

“But Luci---” Derek tried to interject, his mouth pressed closed by Luci’s tail.

“But nothing, Derek. If you like this girl, you need to be honest with her, try to be yourself, the you that she liked in the first place. If she doesn’t accept you like that, then that’s her loss. But don’t try to trick her into liking you. Be better than that, and if you can’t then you didn’t deserve her in the first place.”

Derek seemed to digest Luci’s speech slowly, chewing on some of the tougher words before fully swallowing them.

“I guess you’re right, Luci,” he finally said, a smile appearing on his face. “She deserves honesty. I mean, I still don’t know what to say to her, but I’ll do my best.”

“Can you remember what you used to say to her before?” Luci asked.

Derek nodded.

“Good, just start with that.”

Derek stood at that, gave Luci a thumbs up - his smile widening - and headed back up the stairs.

“Thanks, Luci,” he heard Derek call from above him as he rounded the corner.

“No problem,” he called back, a small smile on his face, too. That was until he heard Derek again not too much further up;

“Oh, hi Bean!”

Luci’s ears perked up, his eyes went wide, and his stomach dropped as he heard footsteps drawing closer to him. He turned to see who it was, but of course, it couldn’t have been anyone else.

“Hey, Luci.”

Bean stood above him, towering over him even more than usual by at least four steps.

He chuckled nervously. “He-he---hey, Bean.”

With her arms crossed and a knowing smirk, Bean descended the stairs separating them and came to rest at Luci’s eye level.

His ears drooped a little and he curled his tail around himself as she settled herself on the stairs as well.

“You heard all that, did you?” he asked, inwardly kicking himself because of course, she had. What a stupidly obvious thing to say. But then he didn't really know what he should say in a situation like this.

“Did you want me to pretend I didn't?” she asked. “Because you know you made some good points, but I could just pretend like I didn't hear anything you said to my brother.”

Luci didn't see any point in that. She had heard, and he had nowhere to hide anymore. She knew his feelings for her, and she knew how awful he now felt about the whole mess. He could try to be cool about it, but it wouldn't fool her. Especially not now.

“Did you mean what you said to Derek?” she asked.

He didn't try to hide from her questioning eye. The guilt volcano evidently wasn't done expelling his truth out of his mouth, and he was done trying to stop it

“Every word,” Luci replied. “I figured someone should benefit from the crap I put you through. That hindsight is stabbing me in the back of my head now, so it obviously shouldn't be me.”

“It was nice, what you said to him,” she said, an awkward silence falling over them for several seconds. “It was the right thing to do.”

“Heh, after going so long doing the exact opposite, every now and then I do the right thing to shake things up, you know.”

“I do know, and I know you well enough to know that it was sincere. You're better at doing the right thing than you think.”

“I blame you, and Elfo. You guys are too good of an influence. That or I just became a crappy bad influence.”

Bean shrugged.”Meh, maybe a little of both.”

“Maybe it's just because I'm so used to Elfo's obvious and kinda sad advances, but Luci, you know you could have just told me how you felt, right?”

“And risk you treating me like you treat Elfo? That's worse than being treated like your cat,” he said with a blanch. “I guess I just didn't want to hear the inevitable rejection. I didn't want you to pity me too because you'd never think of me like that.”

“Who's to say I haven't?” she asked. His brain must have malfunctioned, he must have had a mini-stroke or something because he could not process what she had just said.

“Come again?” he said, his heart skipping in spite of himself. He could not have heard her right.

Her gaze softened and she fidgeted with a few stray strands of her hair. It was apparently her turn to have trouble looking at him for a second.

"Yeah, I mean you know me better than almost anybody else. So, yeah--- yes I have thought about it every now and then. You and Me.”

She must have sensed his tiny heart attack because she went stern again to squelch it.

“That still doesn't give you the right to do what you did. I hate myself for being almost relieved when I found out it was really you."

“Relieved?” he inquired, but she waved him off.

“Compared to Pendergast, I mean--- but that's not the point, Luci. I want to hate you, I  _ should _ hate you for what you did. And most of me is agreeing with that and will probably be mad at you for a very long time."

Fair enough, he thought. He tamped down any hope that had flared inside of him at her words. It was what he deserved after all.

"I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to talk to me again, I don’t know what I’d do if you did something like this. But I get it, this - you and me - that's never gonna happen. Especially after what I did."

Bean appeared to deliberate something in her mind, her head tilting slightly as she appeared to come to a conclusion.

"I wouldn't say never…"

She then surprised him by gently lifting his head and bringing her lips down on his. The softness of the kiss did nothing to counter the shock wave that radiated through his body at her touch. He kissed her back with an eagerness he tried to keep in check, for in the back of his mind he tried to remember that she was still angry with him. And rightly so.

For a moment, however, she seemed to have forgotten that.

It was probably longer than Bean originally intended before she broke the embrace, an involuntary sound of pleasure escaping her.

He wanted to say something, anything. But what could be said after what she did - after what he did - that hadn't already been said?

Bean laughed, a tad breathless as she looked down at him. Her smile was small, honest, and the most adorable thing Luci could imagine.

"Hey now, don't read too much into that, I just wanted you to be even with Elfo.”

A flirty retort almost escaped his mouth, but he held back. Partly to give his lips time to get over what had just happened to them, and partly because this was probably still not the time.

Her smile turning sly at his speechlessness, she rose and began to make her exit. He began to get up too, going up instead of down so as not to look like he was following her. That wouldn't be as cool an exit.

Before she disappeared around the corner, however, she turned back to him one more time.

"Luci---" she started, then seemed to think better about what to say. "It'll take me a while to forgive you, but then... now I know that all of that was really you. And I won't forget that... You know, when I decide to forgive you."

With that, she disappeared down the stairs, leaving Luci much higher than he had been when she'd found him. Which he figured he should be used to by now.

* * *

"So after extensive flower-based discussions with Roxette's parents, we've decided to hold off on any betrothal business until Derek is older. Also when we start paying more attention to other kingdom's weird customs."

The king had gathered all of what he decreed the 'leads' of the castle to the throne room to exposit what had occurred during his talks with the High and Noble Chaveran family.

Luci had joined Bean and Elfo for this meeting, even though he had no idea what had been going on with Zog, but he was at least pleased to see Derek with some girl he assumed was the one he'd been talking about.

Odvall and Merkimer were also there for some reason, as well as Pendergast, which he tried to give a wide berth from. He might still be inclined to attempted metal boot-stomping him if Luci didn't at least try to avoid him.

"Isn't that what I told you before, that Derek was still too young?" Bean asked him.

"Uh, I did too," Derek piped up.

"And according to this letter from Oona, so did she," Elfo said as he swiped the letter Luci had just stolen from Derek's pocket.

Zog took it from Elfo and stowed it in a pocket with a grumble about people pointing things out.

"But the point is we got it all straightened out for the most part off-screen. So we didn't have to use those giant window screens for the castle once this whole time."

"And Bean and I decided to go our separate ways. Mutually. Through no one's fault," chimed in Pendergast, trying to put an arm around Bean as he said it but earning him an elbow to the chest in return.

"It was all your fault," Bean said.

"Wait, you were courting Bean, when was this?" Zog asked, looking genuinely surprised.

"This whole past week, Dad," Bean said.

"You know I can only pay attention to one of you kids at a time! And this was Derek's week."

"It's fine, Dad. You didn't miss much."

She gave Luci a wink right before Zog brought her in for more questioning about her's and Pendergast's short-lived relationship. Luci decided to leave them to it and mosey on back to his beloved bar. Where the mild poison flowed freely and he could always count on drunk idiots to do something stupid and cheer him up.

Heading in through the back door, he had a few things to do before opening up for the evening. Just as he began to grab the one rag to wipe down the counter though, a small square of paper caught his eye. It had his name written on one side of the folded page, and he wondered for a second who could have gotten into the bar without his key.

But once he opened it he knew exactly who it came from. He smiled, his heart lifting with just a little spark of hope. What type of hope, he wasn't for sure, but it filled him up all the same.

_ Moonlight haired maiden _

_ Holds her heart out for her friend _

_ Only time will tell _

_ -Bean _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed this fic. I'm mostly proud of it but I do think there is room for improvement and I probably could have done more and expanded parts.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and hope y'all enjoy part 3 of the show. ^^

**Author's Note:**

> JSYK This story takes place in a nebulous period during part 2/season 2. After they get back from Hell and probably after Slimy but before Electric Princess. 
> 
> Hope the formatting came out okay. Working on this for NaNoWriMo this year, follow my progress on twitter and tiktok @ ckatmyla.


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